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NYU short answer+common app short answer (Cambodia, Englilsh book)


alice955 3-5 Edited by: alice955  Dec 21, 08, 09:03am  #
Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU
School/college and what interests you most about your intended discipline.

The first English book I recall reading is "Green Eggs and Ham" by Dr. Seuss, more than ten years ago. That led me find other authors with similar writing style, which led to numerous other books and chain effect took place until eventually I started to read short stories like "The Black Cat" by Edgar Allen Poe and novels like "Perfume" by Suskind this year. It is also this seemingly infinitely vast, yet linked, world of literature that excites me most about choosing the major of English.

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities
My experience in Cambodia revealed to me a world I knew about, but didn't truly understand. In the couple of days I was there, I saw some striking images I knew would never leave my mind. I saw dozens of children fighting violently over a can of beverage with just a few drops of juice left. I saw the large crowd of people gathering around a garbage can that contained the body of a dead infant. I saw the glow in a small girl's eyes outside the market and the smile on a crippled old man's face inside the killing fields when I handed them each a dollar. And yet every night, I was able to settle comfortably on the bed in the decent hotel. It is through this contrast that I found the need to explore and take action for global issues.

Please comment and give me suggestions..feel free to criticize! I feel like they're missing something, thanks!!

Alice Chang
 
gmailblows31 6-28  Dec 21, 08, 10:54am  #
That led me find other authors with (a) similar writing style, which led to numerous other books and (a) chain effect took place. Eventually I started to read short stories like "The Black Cat" by Edgar Allen Poe and novels like "Perfume" (Perfume should be underlined not quoted. It's a novel) by Suskind this year.
"choosing the major of English."
I think should be "choosing a major in English"
Im not sure that English in itself is a major at NYU. It sounds pretty vague.

"fighting violently over a can of beverage with just a few drops of juice left"
You can get rid of "can of" and we want to keep it past tense so it is ...violently over a beverage that had just a few drops of juice left...

David Coll
 
alice955 3-5  Dec 21, 08, 11:00am  #
thanks for the feedback! I'll be sure to make these corrections.
I was wondering if these two essays are weak, you're welcome to comment on the general writing and content of them too.

Alice Chang
 
EF_Kevin [Moderator] 2-3974  Dec 22, 08, 10:09am  #
If you specify the purpose of the trip to Cambodia, that would be good. Also, specify:

...but I did not truly understand (what?). Maybe like this:

My experience in Cambodia revealed to me an impoverished world of which I had been aware, but the that I had not truly understood until actually going there.

Or something like that. Also, use italics insead of " " marks for titles of books:

The first English book I ever read was Green Eggs and Ham.

:)

Good luck!

Kevin, EssayForum.com
 
alice955 3-5  Dec 25, 08, 06:22am  #
thanks lots, Kevin

Alice Chang
 

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