Need some reviews on short essay from Stanford University.

• Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

Developing, designing, scripting, and programming web pages has always been an avid hobby of mine. At the age of 14, I felt the need to maturate this skill and started modifying the web pages of the running websites. As I grew older, I learned the amazing nature of the human mind, and came up with an idea to build a commercial as well as a database website which will make use of the Google Maps database in order to generate maps and directions of the locations in the densely populated city of New Delhi. The idea was not only to efficiently utilize the summer break by creating a traveling guide but to assist the tourists to make fine choices in their consumption of the resources.
The task was so contemplative and intellectually engaging that I started planning for the finance required for the website. I decided that the commercial aspect of the website will provide the businesses like hotels, restaurants, clothing stores, pharmacies, grocery stores, jewelers, airline services, banquets, etc with an opportunity to advertise themselves through the advertisements which will run on the website at an affordable price. Although I knew that the task was challenging & there may be several obstacles in my way to success, I continued to put significant amount of efforts towards its development.
As I continued with my task, I realized that I'm not only creating a website but also leading a small group of people who are not qualified enough to work for the technological giants like InfoTech & Google Inc. So far the website has been a great achievement as several businesses have shown interests in posting their advertisements. As a student at Stanford University, I plan to encourage & assist students to come up with some great ideas which affect the community in a positive aspect.

As I grew older, I learned the amazing nature of the human mind, and came up with an idea to build a commercial as well as a database website which will make use of the Google Maps database in order to generate maps and directions of the locations in the densely populated city of New Delhi. I think this sentence could be made into two or three sentences for clarity.

The idea was not only to efficiently utilize the summer break by creating a travel guide but to assist the tourists in making fine choices in their consumption of the resources.

The task was so contemplative and intellectually engaging that I started planning for the finances required for the website.

Although I knew that the task was challenging & there may be several obstacles in my way to success, I continued to put significant amounts of effort towards its development.

Good luck!

:)

nice essay. you obviously have achieved a lot and have a knack for business. however, i am not so sure i see how and why the experience is intellectually engaging. perhaps rather than state that "it was so contemplative and intellectually engaging that....", you could show us what were the challenges and obstacles that made it engaging.

Thanks a lot you guys!
@Kevin
Could you help me break the sentence that you said would look more clearer.

Thanks