MIT (Short Activity Essay) RUNNING!

Can I have some feedback on this essay? Do you think its too long?

MIT PROMPT: In reading your application we want to get to know you as well as we can. In the space provided (100 words or fewer), use the following questions to give us a sense of who you are and where your interests lie.

I am a runner. I do not walk or jog. I run. For the past six years of my life, my feet have pounded on paved streets, green grass, sandy beaches, and rough mountains. While most people have a place where they can go to in times of trouble, running holds itself as my serenity and my coping strategy. During my week of finals, while up all night and nervous because the notes weren't sticking to me, I'd throw on my running shoes and dart out of the door. All my worries and frustrations would be left on the pavement with my mind left mentally fresh. Running was also a faithful friend who helped me through my grandfather's death and my parent's divorce. Many have asked why I run, the simplest answer that I can think of is, for that feeling. That feeling that overwhelms your body when you use up every ounce of energy, that sense of total, complete, accomplishment. That is why I run.

Total Words: 166

great essay but you can shorten it by removing the repetiveness at the start.

I am a runner. I do not walk or jog. I run.

can be cut down to I run. or something along those lines. Short but with more impact.

if the promt asked you for 100 then around 120 is the max limit usually. I don't think you can get away with 166. It is a pity though becuase its a great short essay.

maybe you can remove this bit

Running was also a faithful friend who helped me through my grandfather's death and my parent's divorce.

i don't think its that necessary in your essay

:)

Thank you.

Yes, I've been trying to find ways to shorten it.

This is a very nicely written answer. There's a lot of imagery in there that helps the reader grasp what you're saying.

"That feeling that overwhelms your body when you use up every ounce of energy, that sense of total, complete, accomplishment."

Changing "your" and "you" to my and me would work better in my opinion. But that's just me.