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Last Minute essay Revisions UIUC and Madison-Academic Interests and Career Goals


anuj1450 2-10  Nov 1, 09, 10:04pm  #
I'm not sure how to finish this essay, or further tie it in with the career goals aspect of the prompt. Any advise is welcome!!

Prompt: In an essay of 300 words or less, please discuss your academic interests and/or professional goals.



Merriam-Webster defines engineering as "the application of science and mathematics by which the properties of matter and the sources of energy in nature are made useful to people." That definition embodies what I love in school and what I wish to achieve throughout my career.

SEE BELOW

UIUC will provide me with the opportunity to further pursue my interest in engineering, as well the opportunity to prove myself as a leader among the thousands of engineering students.

WORD COUNT: 296


Thanks for any advise!!

Anuj Mehta
 
anuj1450 2-10  Nov 1, 09, 10:49pm  #
Any suggestions? I need to finish this ASAP! Thanks again guys, you have helped more than you know! Now I can procrastinate by reading other people's essays instead of watching TV haha!

Anuj Mehta
 
patorooni 3-17  Nov 1, 09, 11:15pm  #
Mathematics and science have always been my best subjects in school, but I recently became interested in engineering. The development of this interest began just before my freshman year in high school, when I received an invitation to take Project Lead The Way: Introduction to Engineering Design. That class showed me the basics of how mathematics and science can be used to solve everyday problems. It taught me the engineering design process, and most importantly, it helped me define what I wanted out of my education: a connection between what I am learning and real life.

My engineering teacher saw my interest and introduced me to a program called Project WORTHY at Northrop Grumman. There, I was been able to create my own engineering projects and work on them with my mentors. My projects have ranged from radio frequency jamming, to programming, product development and marketing. While at Northrop Grumman, I also attended lectures regarding team building, presentation skills, and what role I take in a large corporation (find another way to word that). In addition to teaching me through projects and lectures, WORTHY has also helped me develop my leadership skills by giving me an opportunity to manage fifteen other students in a summer enrichment program. (Elaborate more on what you did. The reader needs specifics.) I was able to help all of the other students with their portion of the project, and make sure that all of the tasks were completed.

This essay is pretty scattered and a lot of interesting parts are underdeveloped. I would shorten the part where you explain why/when you became interested in engineering and elaborate a lot more on what you did with Project WORTHY.

Patrick A
 
anuj1450 2-10  Nov 2, 09, 12:02am  #
Yeah it was just a rough draft, thanks anyways I had my mentor revise it and it turned out great!

Thanks for all your help everybody! I hope to be a more active member on the forums in the upcoming weeks.

Anuj Mehta
 

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