"integrity" short answer common-word count

Hi I could really use some help/ ideas

This is the idea that I would like to convey, does it make sense and read well?
My biggest problem is that the word limit is 150!

REMOVED

(word count-ahhh 331)

sorry it should say "couldn't however pass up"
does the integrety lesson at the end make sense? I was WAY out of words so I didn't offer any more explination...

At, the Pizzeria however all of my effort was ignored --- The comma should be removed

you focused on the work well, but not on the integrity portion
you have to be able to develop that in fewer words
i do see where you are going but you have to make the connections stronger

ok thank you. do you see anything else I can remove?

this is what I changed
During our Mid-State Fair you could find me down at the fairgrounds at 7:30 in the morning cranking open the Dip-N-Dots booth, balancing the receipts, and donning my fluorescent green hat to serve flash frozen ice creams. But my independence was worth it. I couldn't however pass up the opportunity when two upstanding vendors offered me jobs, so at 1:15 I would go running through the crowd of fair goers pulling on a Pizzeria apron. I applied myself diligently to both jobs: coming early and cleaning up my co-worker's messes. At Dip-N-Dots I was soon rewarded, I was promoted to Manager, the pay was the same, but I had more responsibility and often had personal conversations with the boss about how to manage a business. At the Pizzeria however all of my effort was ignored- I would go to other booths and translate and offer to stay and close, but none of this seemed valuable to the owner. As the fair came to a close I saw the owner having a conversation with the cooks; he was offering to pay them by the day instead of by the hour. It was no business of mine, but when I calculated the two wages I saw that he was cheating them out of their money. That day the boss came up to me and was complaining about how annoying the summer work season was, I just nodded and went back to work. The next time I spoke to him was when I came to pick up my pay check; I was content with what I had earned during those weeks and was proud of my effort regardless of his recognition. While I waited the owner pulled me aside and offered me a job at his restaurant in town. My first thought was victory; he did value my work. But, I respectfully declined from his offer. I had learned perseverance, but I had had experience with that lesson before. Mostly I learned that the motivation behind your actions is important.

I've got it down to 244

During our Mid-State Fair, you could find me down at the fairgrounds at 7:30 in the morning cranking open the Dip-N-Dots booth, balancing the receipts, and donning my fluorescent green hat to serve flash frozen ice creams. But my independence was worth it. I couldn't however pass up the opportunity when two upstanding vendors offered me jobs.At 1:15 I would go running through the crowd of fair goers pulling on a Pizzeria apron.
I applied myself diligently to both jobs: coming in early and cleaning up my co-worker's messes. At Dip-N-Dots I was soon rewarded, I was promoted to Manager, the pay was the same, but I had more responsibility and often had personal conversations with the boss about how to manage a business. At the Pizzeria however all of my effort was ignored- I would go to other booths and translate and offer to stay and close, but none of this seemed valuable to the owner. As the fair came to a close I saw the owner having a conversation with the cooks; he was offering to pay them by the day instead of by the hour. It was no business of mine, but when I calculated the two wages I saw that he was cheating them out of their money. That day the boss came up to me and was complaining about how annoying the summer work season was, I just nodded and went back to work. The next time I spoke to him was when I came to pick up my pay check; I was content with what I had earned during those weeks and was proud of my effort regardless of his recognition. While I waited the owner pulled me aside and offered me a job at his restaurant in town. My first thought was victory; he did value my work. But, I respectfully declined his offer. I had learned perseverance, but I had had experience with that lesson before. Mostly I learned that the motivation behind your actions is important.

I think you could do without these sentences perhaps?

:)

thank you. this is what I came up with does it still sound alright?
My experience working the Mid-State Fair was varied since I didn't pass up the opportunity when two vendors offered me jobs. Dip-N-Dots appreciated that I always arrived early and learned to manage the receipts. Soon my diligence was reward with a position as Manager. At the Pizzeria I translated and stayed late, but my effort wasn't noticed. This boss had a different style; he displayed unfair business practices and was seen by his employees as unprofessional. Truthfully, our only conversation was him complaining about work. Looking back, I am proud of my effort regardless of any recognition. Ironically, the Pizzeria offered me a permanent position. I felt vindicated, but I respectfully declined. I learned perseverance, but mostly it was a didactic in how the motivation behind my actions is most important. I'm glad I didn't need accolades to stimulate my desire to work hard, that came from within me.

its right at 149