Grinnell Supplement essay - all advice is welcomed

Grinnell College is a place where students come to be part of a distinctive community. Tell us what makes you an individual and what you could bring to Grinnell, but also tell us about what you wish to take away from Grinnell College.


I may not be outstanding and great. I am a normal person, but I am unique because of my efforts to contribute.

My parents are doctors, who dedicate to improving the conditions of patients. Infected by my parents, I am engaged in helping people in need in my daily life. I offer seats for people in need in the bus; I help the blind go across the street; I volunteer to teach poor primary students; I organize a group of people to struggle for the better living of children slavery; I raised fund for the victims of earthquakes. Although what I do seem to be trivial, I am proud that I can stick to devoting for many years. I can rest in satisfaction of knowing that I do improve other people's lives. In the same time, I realize that I should learn more and cooperate with excellent and motivated people to achieve more.

I wish I could bring my willing to help to Grinnell. I understand that people in Grinnell are outstanding and great and I dream to be one of them. I want to organize people together and do things meaningful, which, I believe will not be trivial.

It would be my honor and prestige if I could attend Grinnell and contribute to Grinnell community with my full strength. I can meet the best teachers and the most passionate and smartest students, with whom I can share my dream of making the world a better place. I hope the knowledge necessary for achieving my goal and good relationships with the teachers and students are what I take away from Grinnell.



I wonder if I have answered the question clearly and exprssively. I want to show my readiness to help others and devote to the society. I want to show my willing to make friends with teachers and students and work together to contribute.

Thanks for any advice for revising the short essay :)

I apply for Grinnell too so please raise your awareness :))
"Although what I do seem to be trivial," (quoted) I think you should not be pessimistic of yourself. What you have done (as described in your essay) to me looks great :)) so you might think of deleting that sentence. And I think you should elaborate more on this essay.
Hope we both get in :))
goodluck,

Thanks very much for your advice.
I wonder if I have answered the question clearlly and expressively?

My parents are doctors, who dedicate themselves to improving the conditions of patients. Infected by my parents, I am engaged in helping people in need, in my daily life. I offer seats to people in need on the bus; I help the blind go across the street; I volunteer to teach poor primary students; I organize a group of people who struggle for the better living of children in slavery;(?) I raised funds for the victims of earthquakes. Although what I do seems to be trivial, I am proud that I have stuck to this devotion for many years. I can rest in the satisfaction of knowing that I do improve other people's lives.At the same time, I realize that I should learn more and cooperate with excellent and motivated people to achieve more.

I understand that people in Grinnell are outstanding and great and I dream of becoming one of them.

I want to organize people together and to do meaningful things, which, I believe will not be trivial.

Great essay!

:)

Hey I think it should be around 500 characters not 500 words.

I know, but uploading document is allowed, so I think there is actually no limit.
Thanks anyway :)

Actually from the essay prompt, it looks like 500 characters seem too little to adequately answer the prompt. So do double check at the admission website. :)

If the word limit is 500 characters, instead of 500 words, I would advise that you should stay close to that word limit. A little bit over 500 characters is fine. I guess the admission officers had their reasons for capping the word count at 500 characters (e.g. test our language abilty to write concise and succint content) if that is the case.

All the best :)

I may not be outstanding and great. I am a normal person, but I am unique because of my efforts to contribute.

My parents are doctors, who are dedicated to improving the conditions of patients. Affected by my parents, I am engaged in helping people in need in my daily life. I offer seats for people in need on the bus; I help the blind go across the street; I volunteer to teach under priviledged primary students; I organized a group of people that struggle for the better living of children slavery; I raised funds for the victims of earthquakes. Although what I do seem to be trivial, I am proud that I can stick to devoting my time and energy to help others for many years. I can rest in satisfaction of knowing that I do improve other people's lives and the world. At the same time, I realize that I have a great deal more to learn and must cooperate with excellent and motivated people to achieve more.

I want to bring my willing to help to Grinnell. I understand that people in Grinnell are outstanding, and I dream to be one of them. I want to organize people together and do things meaningful, which, I believe, will make their lives' and the world a much better, more productive, more loving place.

It would be my honor and pleasure if I could attend Grinnell and contribute to Grinnell community with my full strength. I can learn from the best professors and the most passionate and smartest students, with whom I can share my dream of making the world a better place. I hope the knowledge necessary for achieving my goal and good relationships with the teachers and students are what I take away from Grinnell.

I would not start with the first line that you did. You want your words to reflect who you are. You want your words to captivate the reader. You want your reader to desire your next words. You have to sell yourself! I love that you have outlined things that you have done for the world. List any special awards, achievements, etc that you have received and groups you have held leadership roles. Do you have recommendation letters to go with this essay? I would introduce yourself in the first paragraph, say why you want to attend Grinnell, and say why they need you (YES!!! Why THEY NEED YOU!). My first college admission essay about about 1,000 words. I would double check the requirements for the essay.

I am applying to Grinnell College too.
I am having trouble with writing first essay question. how did you elaborate your essay?
could you give me some examples?
and im not quite sure if i can write more than 500 characters either on the website or seperate documents

well, I just said that I first learnt Grinnell from Grinnell students in a foreign forum. And I then talked in few sentences about why Grinnell attracts me academically. I think you do not need to talk much in the first essay.