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What you do for the pleasure of it - MIT Short Answer Question

PikafuThreads: 4
Posts: 21 		 Sep 4, 09, 09:00pm   #1
We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (100 words)

A piano's eighty-eight keys invites musical improvisation like nothing else. While practicing a classical piece satisfies me because I can feel the tangible results of my improvement, improvisation provides a different type of pleasure. There is something inherently daring about playing without a specific purpose in mind; when I improvise, I have absolutely no idea what's going to happen next. Far from limiting me, this allows me to explore the possibilities of every note with total freedom. It's definitely a refreshing diversion from the rigid routine of repetition needed to progress in classical music, a diversion I fully savor.


John Fu
 
EF_SimoneThreads: 3
Posts: 2163 [Moderator] 		 Sep 4, 09, 09:30pm   #2
This is fine, but I would like it to have more of the creative freedom it describes. You repeat yourself and use empty modifiers (e.g., "fully savor") that could be cut in order to more creatively convey the feeling of improvisation. What do you improvise? Experimental music a la John Cage? Jazz a la Thelonious Monk? Let the reader in on what flows from your keys when you let yourself go.

Simone, EssayForum.com
 
EF_SeanThreads: 6
Posts: 3811 [Moderator] 		 Sep 4, 09, 10:55pm   #3
You definitely need to focus on your playing of a specific piece here. Show, through your description of how you play the piece, everything you now currently only tell.

Sean, EssayForum.com
 
LiebeThreads: 4
Posts: 689 [Contributor] 		 Sep 5, 09, 07:18am   #4
It is alright, but it could do with more depth. It really could

'The' Faisal Pasha, Essayforum.com Contributor
 
EF_SimoneThreads: 3
Posts: 2163 [Moderator] 		 Sep 5, 09, 12:18pm   #5
EF_Sean:
You definitely need to focus on your playing of a specific piece here.

No, s/he is writing about improvisation, which is the opposite of playing a specific piece except in those rare cases where a composer has allowed a few bars for improvisation.

Simone, EssayForum.com
 
catalyst0435Threads: 3
Posts: 37 		 Sep 5, 09, 12:29pm   #6
I think John's a guy-name, but I won't assume anything :)

I think you should alter the voice of the essay to feel a little more free. As it stands, the wording feels rigid and proper, which confuses me next to the spontaneity of improvisation.

Minh (Michael) Vu
 
PikafuThreads: 4
Posts: 21 		 Sep 5, 09, 12:36pm   #7
Thanks for the input, guys. I do wish to go more in depth and write more freely about how I feel when I improvise, but there's that 100 word limit. Maybe I should also include the fact that I don't improvise according to any piece - I literally sit down in front of the piano and play stuff that comes to my mind. Do you guys feel that this could be a decent CommonApp essay (the main one) if I fleshed it out more?

Oh, and I'm a guy :D

John Fu
 
LiebeThreads: 4
Posts: 689 [Contributor] 		 Sep 5, 09, 03:28pm   #8
Pikafu:
I literally sit down in front of the piano and play stuff that comes to my mind. Do you guys feel that this could be a decent CommonApp essay (the main one) if I fleshed it out more?

^Whilst the content is important, I think writing style should be of more importance. Excellent writing style can make up for a concept that has been used before or nothing that fantastic. So if you can flesh it out more, go for it.
Because the content in itself is nothing that incredible in my opinion.

'The' Faisal Pasha, Essayforum.com Contributor
 
EF_SeanThreads: 6
Posts: 3811 [Moderator] 		 Sep 8, 09, 04:33pm   #9
EF_Simone:
No, s/he is writing about improvisation, which is the opposite of playing a specific piece except in those rare cases where a composer has allowed a few bars for improvisation.


He must have sat down and played improvisational music several times. Each of these times, he played a song or piece, albeit one that he was making up as he went. He should describe one of these experiences specifically. I stand by my advice.

Sean, EssayForum.com
 

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