Essay on Contribution to hometown (Wesleyan education)

Topic: please tell us how you would use your Wesleyan education to make a contribution to your home country. (Approximately 400 words)

My response:

REMOVED

Thanks for your comments!

I made some changes to improve the style, and perhaps you can even improve your (English) writing skills by applying the changes I made. Congratulations for being able to write English so well; the changes I made were minor.
Good luck!


Today's global environment makes it necessary to have worldwide knowledge, rather than focusing only on domestic conditions. Therefore, studying abroad provides a golden key to open the door to human intellect and the real world. The United States is undoubtedly the most desirable destination because of its unique liberal art colleges that provide vibrant education environment. Among hundreds of prestigious schools, Wesleyan University particularly attracts me for its high quality of education and lively campus community. I believe that I will effectively transfer the well-rounded lessons from Wesleyan to build up my hometown in the future.

Applying to Wesleyan University, I hope to receive comprehensive education, the ultimate magic tool to manage a handful of complicated problems that Vietnam is facing. The valuable chances to work with leading experts in many areas will equip me with adequate knowledge and good vision to later deal with domestic dilemma concerning economic depression. In recent years, Vietnam's economic growth is among the strongest in the world; however, it is simultaneously haunted by a high inflation rate. This fact is largely due to a lack of human capitals in the field of Micro and Macroeconomics Management; therefore, I hope to pursue an Economics major at Wesleyan University and to become an economics analyst, so that i can bring some positive changes to the domestic economy's climate. Moreover, in the current global environment, it is best to cooperate to find solutions to the widespread financial crisis of not only developing countries -- but also the developed ones.

Furthermore, having the opportunity to do paid or internship jobs in the Connecticut neighborhood provided by Career Resource Center will greatly improve my social understandings and work experience, not to mention the professionalism I am ready to absorb. Those skills will altogether build up my working methods that I will eagerly exchange with the colleagues to increase the overall efficiency. I would also love to follow many volunteer activities available at Wesleyan to learn how to harmonize business and community service later in life.

All in all, I wish to gain from my Wesleyan education specialized knowledge and global experience that can be applied to Vietnam's immediate economic and societal needs.

Thanks a lot, Kevin! :x I really appreciate your help! :)

I've just edited this essay. This is the latest version. Plz have a look at it (kinda urgent :p). Thanks for your help! (:
(395 w)

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Today's global environment makes it necessary to have worldwide background knowledge, rather than focusing only on domestic issues. Therefore, studying abroad provides a golden key to open the door to human intellect and the real world. The United States is undoubtedly the most desirable destination because of its unique liberal art colleges that provide vibrant education environment. Among hundreds of prestigious schools, Wesleyan University particularly attracts me for its high quality of education and lively campus community. I believe that I will effectively transfer the well-rounded lessons from Wesleyan to building up my hometown in the future.

Applying to Wesleyan University, I hope to receive comprehensive education, the ultimate magic tool to handle with a bunch of complicated problems that Vietnam is facing. The valuable chances to work with leading experts in many areas will equip me with adequate knowledge and a good vision to later deal with domestic dilemmas concerning what to do in an economic down-turn. In recent years, Vietnam's economic growth is among the fastest in the world; however, it is simultaneously haunted by a high inflation rate. This fact is largely due to a lack of human capital in the field of micro and macro economic management; therefore, I am determined to pursue an Economics major at Wesleyan University and become an economic analyst. My utmost dream is be able to bring positive changes to the economic climate of Vietnam in the future.

Furthermore, having the opportunity to do internship jobs in the Connecticut neighborhood provided by Career Resource Center will immensely improve my social understandings and work experience, not to mention the professionalism I am ready to absorb. That knowledge will altogether build up my working skills, which I am eager to exchange with my future colleagues to increase the overall efficiency. I would also love to follow various volunteer activities available at Wesleyan to learn how to harmonize working and serving the community later in life.

All in all, I wish to gain from my Wesleyan education specialized knowledge and global experience that can be applied to Vietnam's immediate economic and societal needs. By studying economics at Wesleyan and taking internship chances to learn how the real market operates in one of the most competitive trading environments, I am confident to get a suitable and satisfying job in the future to practically contribute to the progress of the nation.

S/o plz help me! ): I desperately need it now. ): Thanks in advance!

Here are some ideas:

Today's global environment makes it necessary to have worldwide background knowledge, rather than knowledge of only domestic issues.


Applying to Wesleyan University, I hope to receive comprehensive education, the ultimate magic tool to cope with the myriad of complicated problems that Vietnam is facing.

I am confident that, empowered by my experience of studying economics at Wesleyan and taking internship chances to learn how the real market operates in one of the most competitive trading environments, I will be prepared to embark upon a satisfying career that enables me to contribute meaningfully to the progress of the nation.