EMORY why essay, thanks a lot for your comments!

(does it clear and do i need to rewrite the conclusion?)


Many students decide to apply to Emory University based on our size, location, reputation, and yes, the weather. Besides these valid reasons as a possible college choice, why is Emory University a particularly good match for you?

When I was researching masses of information about many other schools but nothing had created as strong an image as the Emory's core institutional values of community involvement, strong liberal arts education with ample resource in university and diversify culture.

Like the two founders of "Volunteer Emory", I have explored my potential abilities to be a good leader by establishing and running two big volunteer organizations. Through these organizations, I have influenced the several hundred members of my organizations, passing on my passion for volunteering to others, to foster our community sense. Since I have held some eco-friendly volunteer activities, I realized that our action really can help others better understand how their daily actions affect their immediate environment. Therefore, I want to involve in Sustainable Partnerships for Atlanta Neighborhoods project (SPAN) to spread my volunteer passion.

A strong liberal arts education with rich resource in university will provide the best possible learning environment for me. Emory has incredible student to faculty ratio of a mere 7:1 and personal contact with the world-class, diverse faculty. I also look forward to insightful class discussions with amazing classmates with whom I want to build lifelong friendships. Strong academics class with excellent support systems will empower me. Therefore, Emory is my best choice because of its liberal arts strength!

Emory University is eye-opening in many different ways, not only to racial and religious diversity, it's also geographic and demographic diversity. In addition to the international study programs that span the globe in Emory , more than 220 groups and extracurricular activities present will shape me with multiplex culture aware.

I am sure that Emory will certainly provide me with the top quality undergraduate education that I need to empower me to transform my world!

what's the word limit? I think if it's longer, you should make your conclusion more than one sentence.

I like how you put the details you know about Emory.
I applied to Emory too, but is there word limit?
And yes, definitely add more to your conclusion. One sentence is not enough
I think. Besides that, I like your essay.

I agree.. you clearly explain what you want to talk about in your essay.

I don't think your essay is long. I think it is about right. Like Skim said, conclusion should be more than a sentence. :)

Thank all of your comments!!
yeah, i just finished the conclusion in a rush time, it need more.

Skim, do you know this why emory essay's word limit? we know that it is a short answer question.In common application form, we just need to upload the document. There is no mention about the word limit....

When I was researching masses of information about many other schools, nothing created as strong an impression as Emory's core institutional values of community involvement, strong liberal arts education, diversity of culture, and ample resources.

Like the two founders of "Volunteer Emory", I have explored my potential abilities to be a good leader by establishing and running two big volunteer organizations. Through these organizations, I have influenced the several hundred members of my organizations, passing on my passion for volunteering to others, to foster our community sense. Since I have held some eco-friendly volunteer activities, I realized that our action really can help others better understand how their daily actions affect their immediate environment. Therefore, I want to involve in Sustainable Partnerships for Atlanta Neighborhoods project (SPAN) to spread my volunteer passion. Now you need to relate these achievements a bit more to the question "Why Emory?" for a strong conclusion to this paragraph.

....

Emory University is eye-opening in many different ways, not only to cultural and religious diversity, but also geographic and demographic diversity. In addition to the international study programs that span the globe in Emory, more than 220 groups and extracurricular activities present will empower me. I am sure that Emory will certainly provide me with the top quality undergraduate education that I need to empower me to transform my world!

Well done!!! You can improve it by writing a sentence or two about one more specific resource or quality offered by this school.

Yeah. cm22, I checked through and there's nothing about word limit. I was worried cause mine is not that short. But I think yours looks about right length. :)