Describe a personal activity:My Cello:Common App

Hey, this is my short answer respoonse (max. 150 words, I have 145) to the common app's prompt.
Please review!

Prompt: In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)


Playing the cello...

SEE BELOW

Thanks!

Playing the cello is my most challenging, but most rewarding personal activity. I practice anywhere from thirty minutes to three hours a day, not only because I want to improve my technical skills, but because I love its rich tones and full sounds. Behind my notes are raw emotions that only music can divinely express; no other action can do them justice (This is kinda confusing, "action" apparently doesn't have an antecedent (perhaps change "notes" to "playing"?); what does it mean to express something divinely? do what justice? I think this idea should be rewritten). For every emotion there is a piece or at least a passage to envoke (? try something other than "describe") it. In times of joy, I call upon the light tumbling of notes in Haydn's Concerto No.1 in C. In times of gloom, I'll draw out the slow, decaying waves of the Sarabande of Bach's Cello Suite No.3. With music, there is no thought that cannot be expressed. Whether I'm playing a melancholy or a lighthearted passage, the cello never fails to satisfy me with its beautiful voice.

Playing the cello is my most challenging, but most rewarding personal activity. Sometimes, I practice anywhere from thirty minutes to cello three hours a day, not only because I want to improve...

Say it like it is! be powerful. :-) I think you should include one sentence about an experience of audacious self-expression as an artist. Something that happened when the music overwhelmed you.