Why Cornell (Engineering)

Hello y'all.
Here's my supplemental essay for Cornell. I know it may be similar to one my other essays for another school but all comments and remarks are welcome.
THANK YOU!


PROMPT:
College of Engineering:
Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest.


As students sculpt their college lists, they research every aspect of the colleges before deciding to apply. After months of traveling and visiting colleges around the nation I began to sculpt my own college list. As I first stepped onto Cornell campus, I instantly fell in love; I knew at that moment that Cornell was where I belonged. I feel that Cornell is the place where I can evolve into the person and professional I aspire to be. Cornell harbors brilliant professors and a diverse student body that I know will stimulate me to be my best. Whether through academics or engagement with peers, surrounded by endless inspiration, I know that at Cornell I will be stimulated to be my best.

From a young age, I have been captivated by engineering: I would always find myself spending countless hours in a quiet room, playing with Lego Bricks. Alone, I would masterfully design and govern these pieces of plastic into battles scenes or metropolises petrified in time. Every day, I would want to create something new, something unprecedented. This is where my love for engineering emerged from. In high school, I began to expand my horizons and explore the world of engineering and what it could offer. Classes such as my honors Engineering Science class have only fed my passion for engineering.

In all frankness, I aspire to be a patent lawyer, not just an engineer. Nevertheless, I realized that I needed the right technical and specialized engineering skills if I wanted to pursue a career in law; specifically the occupation of a patent lawyer. Given my strength in mathematics and science, engineering seemed the best field of study for me. Although I am strongly interested, I felt that an engineering background would be a solid stepping stone towards a career in law; the methodical and systematic techniques in engineering bolster decision-making and priceless innovation. I hope to earn a degree and continue on to law school, a process that I know that will take some time but I am prepared to face each and every challenge with dedication, perseverance and integrity.

The thought of being able to be involved in the process of which vaguely-supple and soft dream of inventors become realities is purely amazing. I love people and I want to work for people and I want the people I love to be happy. I have always had a heart to serve people, people in the different countries or community and I believe that becoming a patent lawyer with help me collaborate the two worlds I love, science and service.

Cornell is not only a beautiful and captivating environment but an institution with a rich history. As a second generation Korean American student, I feel that I have much to offer to the cultural pallet of Cornell. Cornell's history, student life, athletics and cultural life are unique among the Ivy Leagues and I, like many others appreciate this. Ultimately, I feel the urge to call Cornell home not only because it has captured the very essence of my passion to learn but because it feels just right.


THANK YOU!

I've seen your CMU essay and this essay. I'm afraid the two are really really similar. Colleges often say that if you can replace their name with another college, and the essay still makes sense, you are not doing a good job. Try to mention more specifics about the colllege in ur essay.. Since i'm applying to Cornell too, I'll give you some hints. Mention Project teams, the beautiful Ithaca setting, and AEWs.. That list should help u get started.

The essay, however, is pretty good. You probably want to make the content better.

I really like this essay! One thing i noticed is "I love people and I want to work for people and I want the people I love to be happy" I would talke out the first and replace it with a comma. Maybe instead of work for people say provide service. That sentence just need some rearranging

Hope this helped a little :)

debaterchick09
yes i see that i do need a comma there. thanks
thank you vaibhav2614
i was afraid of this too, right now i am personalizing my essay alittle bit more.
Cornell has word limit so what parts should revise/take out to help make up space.
any suggestions?
i know that need to spend more time to personalize the essay more towards a specific college.


thank you all for your input

thank you all for your input but I already had all my essays recently looked at by a English major at Williams. Everything is good to go.

Thank you Essay Forum Moderators and Contributors.
You all have made my college applications process just alittle easier.
Hopefully, ill be posting soon some good news in a few months.

THANKS!

Cornell harbors brilliant professors and a diverse student body that I know will stimulate me to be my best. Whether through academics or engagement with peers, surrounded by endless inspiration, I know that at Cornell I will be stimulated to be my best. maybe one of these could be changed to encouraged, perhaps?

Although I am strongly interested, I feel that an engineering background will be a solid stepping stone towards a career in law; the methodical and systematic techniques in engineering bolster decision-making and priceless innovation.

I have always had a heart to serve people, people from different countries or communities and I believe that becoming a patent lawyer will help me collaborate the two worlds I love, science and service.

Good luck!

:)