common app short answer - extracurricular activities

Although initiative may cause troubles, it is worthwhile. When I was elected as the president of Taekwondo Club, I was initiated to organize a field trip. At first, I thought that it would be an easy task as long as I followed the protocol. Nevertheless, I was wrong. Many problems arose - insufficient fund due to lack of participants and rushed deadlines. It was difficult for me to promote and persuade students to participate the trip as I was not a persuasive person. I learned some persuading skills from my friends and would even practised on my own when i was bathing. After weeks of running around the school convincing everyone, I finally had enough partipants. Due to rushed deadline, I spent more time after school to get the miscellaneous things done. I was glad that the trip was successful. Moreover, I gained experience through it.

Please help check if there is any grammar mistakes. All comments are welcomed.
Thanks.

Although initiative may cause troubles, it is worthwhile. When I was elected as the president of Taekwondo Club, I was initiated to organize a field trip. At first, I thought that it would be an easy task as long as I followed the protocol. Nevertheless, I was wrong. Many problems arose: insufficient funds due to lack of participants and rushed deadlines. It was difficult for me to promote the event and persuade students to participate the trip, because I was not a persuasive person. I learned some persuasion skills from my friends and would even practised on my own when i was alone. After weeks of running around the school convincing everyone, I finally had enough participants. Due to rushed deadline, I spent more time after school to get the miscellaneous things done. I was glad that the trip was successful. Moreover, I gained experience through it.

Great job! I wonder if this exprience has anything to do with your intended major????

If so, mention that.

Thanks. Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with my intended major.

Although taking initiative may cause troubles, it is worthwhile. [Make this first sentence more clear. Do you mean it can cause you troubles? I was confused at first.] When I was elected as the president of the Taekwondo Club, I was initiated to organize a field trip. At first, I thought that it would be an easy task, as long as I followed the protocol. However, I was wrong. Many problems arose, such as insufficient funds due to lack of participants and rushed deadlines. It was difficult for me to promote and persuade students to participate in the trip, as I was not a persuasive person. I learned some persuasion skills from my friends and would even practice on my own when i was bathing [slightly awkward. maybe 'in the mirror' or like Kevin suggested, 'alone']. After weeks of running around the school convincing everyone, I finally had enough participants. Due to the rushed deadline, I spent more time after school to get the miscellaneous things done. I was glad that the trip was successful. Moreover, I gained valuable experience through it.


Take or leave my suggestions; I'm just kinda playing with it a bit. (: Hope this helps a little.