common app extracurricular activity on babysitting

Hi, I have to explain an extracurricular activity in 150 words or fewer. tell me what you think and be completely honest.

I started babysitting when I was thirteen years old. At the time I only saw children as being cute and fun to play with, I never thought that they would require so much work and dedication. Five years later, I can truly say that babysitting has been one of the most worthwhile experiences of my life. I mastered the challenges of feeding, bathing, playing, potty training, and much more. Babysitting has become a part of my everyday life and has taught me how to be responsible and reliable young adult. I have learned to push myself beyond what I ever thought I could do and thus gained a "can-do" attitude for other activities important in my life.

i think your essay fails to connect how has baby-sitting taught u to push yourself and beyond what you can do. I think if u say how u thought of quitting or giving up at times, you might have a better connection.