As a counselor led my parents and me to my new classroom at Minnekhada Middle School, It was clear
that my parents were anxious. I tried reassur(ing) them, grasping my father's hand and whispering, "Everything is going to be just fine, dad, no worries." However, despite my brave demeanor I was just as nervous
as my folks. It had been a matter of weeks since we had stepped off a plane from Korea
and began to begin a new life in British Columbia. The airport and rush
and hustle of people around me were familiar, yet everything else was different. There was not a single member of the black-haired, scrawny-looking folk I'd been accustomed to.
Now, Everything was different. With this reality came a new language to learn and new customs to adopt.
And then, there was the potentially troublesome But more troubling was the process of learning how to live as a stranger – as a minority - in a new place.
As we approached the classroom I thought back to our arrival in Canada (You are already showing the reader this statement, no need to repeat it by telling).
The airport, the rush and hustle of people around me, yet not a single member of the black-haired, scrawny
the airport, the rush and hustle of people coming and going – and not a single black haired, scrawny looking folk I had been accustomed to seeing. I held tight to what my mother
had told me
when I was as a small boy, "Treat everyone with respect and kindness, because there is little room for conservative-minded people in this protean world." And so, I believed Canadians would show me
the this same graciousness
that I had seen my parents extended to foreigners back in Korea. It was an unreasonable assumption,
but I believed in it . I had no other option. but my youthful naiveté at the time did not allow for alternatives.
My belief in the kindness of strangers was tested on my very first day My first day at Minnekhada put this naiveté to the test . Accustomed to the authoritarian educational style of teachers in Korea, I was both pleased and dismayed to find that
my new teacher, Ms. Hurteau required
that her students be actively involved in virtually every aspect of learning. There were vigorous discussions and group activities. She talked(engaged) us rather than lecturing. If I had spoken English, all of this would have been wonderful. However, as an ESL student, I could only watch and listen as the class session rolled by. I was missing out yet no one seemed to notice or care that I wanted desperately to join in
, with my fresh idea that I drew upon from my unique experience. Where was the kindness and support my mother had taught me to believe in? I eventually found it but from an unlikely source.
Ms. Hurteau.A few days after I arrived at Minnekhada, A few days after, Ms. Hurteau asked to see me during lunch.
I knew it was Knowing it to be rare for a teacher to spend a lunch hour with a student, I couldn't help but feel a bit special. As we sat
together, Ms. Hurteau told me
that she understood how difficult it was for me to participate in class activities. She acknowledged that my lack of English skills posed a real challenge not only for me, but for her as well. Nevertheless, she vowed to teach me and encouraged me to set aside my fear of speaking English in front of the class. As the hour ticked away, Ms. Hurteau
talked about covered everything from ways to improve my English, to my secondary education for the upcoming year, and to common Canadian customs. By the time our conversation ended, I discovered the meaning behind having a true teacher.
In the following months, Ms. Hurteau and I (we) had lunch often. We spent much of our time talking about Canada's vast landscape and its varied, complex cultural heritage. Ms. Hurteau told me
that the people of Canada were a tapestry. They were French and Inuit, African and English, and yes, Korean as well. When Ms. Hurteau asked my ESL teacher Mr. Finley to join our lunch meetings, the fresh perspective made our conversations even richer and livelier. After each of these lunches, I would run home boasting to my family about the new knowledge
I had gained, but even more profound was the realization that my parents had been right; there are kind and decent people everywhere.
Ms. Hurteau continued to encourage me to speak up in class. Mr. Finley's after-school tutor helped to improve my grammar and little-by-little my English improved.Little-by-little my English improved through Ms. Hurteau's encouraging spirit and Mr. Finley's after-school tutor. As time passed, I became acclimated to Canadian culture and began to take an active role in group assignments. Among the wide range of books I began to read, Owl in the Family (underline) was my first and quickly became a personal favorite. It was a gift from Ms. Hurteau, who had read it to me chapter by chapter during our lunches.
My friendship with Ms. Hurteau Our friendship sustained me during my difficult first months in Canada, but then came the day. Ms. Hurteau was resigning. Her husband had passed away, and she was taking her children to live with her parents in Ontario. I was heartbroken. I grieved for my teacher and in some ways
I grieved for myself for I knew
that Ms. Hurteau she had done everything in her power to prepare me for the years ahead.
{What was a pupil to do when his favorite mentor leaves?} You might want to elaborate here a bit more, discuss the difficulties here.}
I am grateful
so much for what Ms. Hureteau did for me. She helped me to become a successful student (I completed my ESL program in less than a year), taught me how to find friendship among my classmates, and instilled within me much needed confidence at exactly the right time. But most of all, Ms. Hurteau taught me a
bout how to celebrate diversity by setting the example. Her love of the multicultural panorama that is Canada imbued within me a similar admiration and a singular desire to continue living and working in such environments. This along with being immersed with those who hold the same values makes Cornell University the next logical step for me.
With its wide array of international programs,faculty, and student body representing the best tradition of North American multiculturalism, Cornell is to me what Canada was to Ms. Hurteau. I believe
that the future success of our planet relies precisely on the kind of cross-cultural engagement
that I discovered in Canada. Through its global outreach and service to the planet and people,Cornell expresses a true celebration for multicultural ideals, the same ideals first taught to me by my parents, and further enhanced by Ms. Hurteau.
Sorry, I was making more edits there. Overall I think your essay is fantastic. If you have noticed, I tried to put some suggestions that made it flow a bit better and forced the active voice. Your essay explains conflict well, but you could focus a bit more. And I will repeat what has already been posted, your English is outstanding. I'm Korean-American (born in the US) and was nowhere near this level when your age. Nice essay but like anything, you can always do more....I hope this helps and best of luck to you in your quest for Cornell. By the way, could you look over some of my writing as well? Thanks!
Jason J Rhee
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