Common App Activity- Science Team

My high school has a science team...

SEE BELOW

(____'s are so to remain anonymous)

Sorry, the prompt is to elaborate on an activity in 150 words or less.

Too vague. Rewrite, making sure to *show* us what you learned from your chosen experience, instead of merely telling us.

i agree with the above opinion, you have to make this relate to you, why you are passionate, why you want to continue, most importantly, how this has changed you. Your focus should be more on what you ended your essay with and the effect the science team has had on you, not the details about it in such a short essay

My hand shakes as I grip the buzzer. The moderator asks a question and as I recollect information from my physics class, I hear a buzz. I glance to my left and see my teammate's buzzer box light up. His answer is correct and we are given a bonus question. This next question rings a bell, although uncertain, our team discusses, arriving at a final answer. We are correct and get the bonus point.

My school has a science team, although the word 'team' should be used loosely. They compete individually, only combining points at the end. While an excellent academic experience, I wanted something that involved teamwork. After many searches, I found the ideal competition: __________. After recruiting a team, I was able to study with some incredibly bright students. The best part about this experience, however, was working with people who think differently from me and watching us succeed together.


How is this?

or this?

My school has a science team, although the word 'team' should be used loosely. They compete individually, only combining points at the end. While an excellent academic experience, I wanted something that involved teamwork. After many searches, I found the ideal competition: ______________. After recruiting a team, I was able to study with some incredibly bright students. The best part about this experience, however, was working with people who think differently from me and watching us succeed together. At competitions, there were always questions that I was unsure about. However, when our team collaborated, we were able to feed off each other's ideas and arrive at the correct answer. Watching a correct answer develop from the vague ideas of four unsure students was incredibly gratifying. I am elated that I belong to an activity as rewarding as __________.

I like this last one best. It is well-structures.. seems as if your quality improved each time.

Can you introduce the idea of doing something similar in college? Also, specify a few areas of research that you became interested in while participating in this...

That is all I can think of to improve it! They will be impressed with your writing.