college essay for Wentworth please help

stoopsThreads: 1 Posts: 1	Edited by: stoops Oct 21, 09, 02:27pm #1
1. Topic of your choice. My palms were always scraped and my knees where always skinned from constantly falling on the burning hot pavement. From the road it just appears to be a small fenced in area with a few beat up skate ramps, and it was a rare occasion for there to be more than ten people there. Towering over the small park is a large oak which shades the back half the park giving a place to escape the brutal heat of the hot summer sun. The skate park taught me things; it helped me grow as an individual. When I was there, I was free to whatever I desired. I would sit on the ramp under the oak and just daydream of what could be done, the possibilities were endless. By the time I came back to reality it was usually time to head home and I would have to wait until the next to try whatever I dreamed up. I was always challenging myself. My friends and I were always in friendly competition to see who could push their limits the farthest, who could do the best trick. The best skater that went to the park was four years older than me and to keep up with him at had to practice every single day, I would even go to the park at nine in the morning on Saturdays so I could get as much practice in as possible. On the rare occasions that I did out do him in a game of skate I would wear a satisfied smirk for the rest of the day. Now years later when I return to the park I see how far I have come. What once was a park full of ramps to big for me to skate is now just something I would mess around on for fun. A trick that would take days of trying is now something I do the minute I get there. I see how much I have grown, I'm not the little kid there anymore I am one of the best skaters there. Even though now that I am leaving the Branford skate park behind I will find a new place, A place full of freedoms, people, and challenges. What do you think? John Smith

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EF_SeanThreads: 6 Posts: 3813 [Moderator]	Oct 21, 09, 03:43pm #2
You like skating (skateboarding?) and are good at it. Great. And this makes you a good applicant for university how, exactly? Until you answer this question, the essay isn't going to work well as an application essay, whatever its other good qualities may be. Sean, EssayForum.com