Brown short answers (Asian culture)

I need comments and grammatical fixes for my short answers...I am not sure these are sufficient enough for the short answers...am I specific enough? any suggestions??

1.Tell us about the academic areas that interest you most and your reasons for applying to Brown.

The academic area that I would like to study further is Asian culture. Since I realized the discrepancy between the perspectives of natives and the foreigners on the Asian culture, I thought the need of learning in a foreign perspective in order to better understand the culture where I have grown for my entire life. I am applying to Brown because Brown is the place where my passion for higher education can be satisfied. Pursuing education has been my driving force and one of the major parts that has given my life more meaning. At Brown, I will never get bored because the open curriculum and strong academic atmosphere would continuously incite my intellectual pursuit rather than dwindle. Also, I am sure that interacting with people who have walked different paths than mine and professors who are easily approachable would lead my academic interest to the career that I have yet found.


2.How did you become interested in Brown? (for example: college counselor, undergraduate, relative, web site?

I met a Brown undergraduate whose major was classics and soon became interested in Brown. The university that she had described identically matched the one I was looking for: strong academic atmosphere, smaller class sizes than other private universities, easily approachable professors and people with diverse backgrounds. Wanting to know more about Brown, I spend a lot of time browsing web sites and was awestricken every time I found more of Brown's exceptional qualities. Since then I often imagined myself walking in the beautiful campus that Brown has and studying at the library, which opens for 24 hours. Brown is and will be the place I want to be and I am quite confident that Brown will help me to see my future.

They are definately sufficient enough. i just don't know that much about grammar, sorry.

thanks for your comment, though. I really appreciate it.

The academic area that I would like to study further is Asian culture. Since I realized the discrepancy between the perspectives of natives and the foreigners on the Asian culture, I believe that learning about foreign perspectives is important for better understanding the culture where I have grown for my entire life. I am applying to Brown because Brown is the place where my passion for higher education can be satisfied. Now say something specific to back that up, and then start a new paragraph.


Pursuing education has been my driving force and one of the major experiences that have given my life more meaning. At Brown, I will never get bored because the open curriculum and strong academic atmosphere would continuously incite my intellectual pursuit rather than dwindle. ...

Again, back up those claims with mention of specific resources available to brown students, specific strengths of the school, which you learned by researching the school online.


... and was awestruck every time I found more of Brown's exceptional qualities. Here, list some more of those qualities...

Since then I often imagined myself walking in the beautiful campus that Brown has and studying at the library, which opens for 24 hours. Good! Use more examples like these!

Brown is and will be the place I want to be and I am quite confident that Brown will help me to see my future.

Good luck at Brown!

It's good, but from what I hear everyone writes about the open curriculum. Maybe change that? good luck

Thanks Kelvin and surfsandiego for your comments!