Good evening.
Here are my suggestions:
"#1 -- In the summer between 11th and 12th grade, I was lucky enough to spend five weeks working for a landscaping company in Cartersville, Georgia, about 40 miles from my house in Atlanta. The experience influenced me because of the difficult nature of the work. Having to wake up extremely early every day in the summer helped teach me the value of a college education. How? Every day my boss Randall told me to keep working hard, so I could give myself opportunities that he had been foolish to give up. Under his tutelage I improved my work ethic despite baking in the hot Georgia sun every day. While I was originally upset about the job because of its location and long hours, by the end of the five weeks I was extremely happy with the experience and was thankful for the opportunity that was given to me.
#2 -- Throughout my years in high school few things have been the same since I was a freshman. The one constant in my life has been a religious group I am involved with, Young Life. A non-denominational Christian outreach ministry, Young Life has given me some of the most memorable experiences of my life so far. I started going because a senior on my lacrosse team invited me to go and I wanted to fit in with the upperclassmen on the team, so I went and have not missed a weekly meeting since. It is a great chance to relax for an hour during the school week. I have made countless friends through Young Life, and it has taught me countless lessons about life. If I had to narrow all of my extracurricular activities to just one, I would pick Young Life above them all, because it is that important to me.
#3 -- My school's lacrosse team, to me, is one of the most important activities that I participate in. I started playing freshman year because a friend of mine had been playing since middle school and he told me that it was fun and easy to pick up, so I decided to try it out. As luck would have it, I fell in love with it. Freshman year I was picked to be the "backup backup" goalie due to my inexperience, and had a great time. Since then I have transitioned to playing defense, and was captain of the JV team last year. The feeling of the whole team struggling together as we run countless laps, and joyously embracing after a close win against a region foe is unrivaled in my experiences. Knowing that the other 25 players on the team want to get better and win games is one of the best things about sports, in my opinion, and the lacrosse team has given me that opportunity."
You've got some great responses here; grammatically they look pretty clean, and they're all very concise and to the point. Good work.
Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
Gloria, EssayForum.com
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