Undergraduate Admission Essays

Ohh okay thank you! I see what you're saying. Do you think that my essay sounds too... »»

I like the second title a lot. It goes with what the essay is about and stands... »»

thanks! heres my revised one. I think this one is more specific. Internet can... »»

well, I just said that I first learnt Grinnell from Grinnell students in a foreign forum. And... »»

Go, Sean! I would definitely research the school. Talk to people who have attended Syracuse.... »»

thanks for your suggestion. it's very helpful :) »»

Role playing is what I enjoyed for my after school activity, which has shaped my character. I... »»

thanks so much for the feedback!!! SUPER helpful.. Yeah -- music business or music industry... »»

As a college student, I do well in academic performance. In my freshman year, I was awarded... »»

Thanks! I just want to make sure it's coherent and I don't sound like I'm jumping from... »»

Oh, I'm sorry about that, but there is no changing posts, just editing that everyone can see.... »»

i just got access to a computer here and Mexico, and I read through your response. I... »»

hmm... i think i almost liked your first version better... the second version makes you "haha" outlook... »»

Engineering reminds me of the particle accelerators that smash atoms together to make extraordinary products. If we... »»

I applaud your extra effort. When you feel inspiration come over you, always use it! Put... »»

Good! It's funny how, in order to achieve your goals, sometimes you need to be smart... »»

I am very above-board and talkative. I tend to express what I think. However, hiding emotions also... »»

Yes, I second that! You guys are great! To all of you who offer such meaningful... »»

Heyy...I revised it a little further...Please try to re-word the sentence in brackets...I want to say something... »»

Cornell harbors brilliant professors and a diverse student body that I know will stimulate me to be... »»

Having worked at the hospital for almost two years has helped me prepare for the real world,... »»

I was not the kind of girl who enjoyed going without showers for a week, surviving on... »»

It had been a long tiring walk to the restaurant from the Port Authority. I finally reached... »»

wow great advice thanks! »»

My parents, during the Salvadorian civil war, belonged to two opposing political factions, embodying the spirit of... »»

Heyy...I wrote another one...i felt this answers more of the question... The University of Wisconsin values... »»

Only the establishing of the timeline. Once you have fixed that and the metaphors, you can post... »»

Your opening dialogue now ties in to your introduction much more clearly. Grammatically, "CEO, the check that... »»

Thank you so much for your advice! Just to make sure, though are these all correct... »»

Thanks for all the comments! They have been very useful (: »»

Hmm mcwingo20, I'm not too sure how to fit in 'interesting catchers' for an essay prompt like... »»

Thanks for the advice. Are there any other grammatical errors and do you think this is an... »»

I think its very important that the point can relate all three stories though! I wrote an... »»

Thanks a lot »»

This essay suffers from numerous grammatical problems, but before you revise for grammar and style, I would... »»

thank you. this is what I came up with does it still sound alright? My experience working... »»

Looks great! Merry Christmas to you too! (Have you got a good recipe for hot and sour... »»

Having the ability to adapt to the changes in career and lifestyle is vital. Columbia College's mission... »»

Fortunately, her distress eventually got better after one change in her daily routine: consulting a psychiatrist.... »»

can anyone answer my question pleaseeee? »»

when you mention your friend be sure to add a name, it will make it sound more... »»

This is a very nicely written answer. There's a lot of imagery in there that helps the... »»

Good Essay, but like said just a bit too wordy :) »»

Thanks guys for the comments. :) »»

Since then, I was very excited to help him because he not only helped me in... »»

Thank you so much Kevin :] »»

At first, I was very reluctant to accept the offer when the team leader asked me to... »»

Home can be a place of tranquility or chaos, but it should be the person's choice, regardless... »»

thank you!!! »»

I became doubtful of my skills and my abilities. Seeing them create and formulate brilliant designs... »»

"So, where do you want to go to college?" A simple question that has become a reoccurring... »»

hey, do you guys think my essay answers the prompt? »»

it is completely off topic. youre supposed to write about how those objectives are a good match... »»

thanks a lot! : ) »»

I wasn't sure if colleges would like an essay describing various experiences instead of simply expanding on... »»

I think you answered the question nicely! :) »»

I would make the last two sentences into their own paragraph, that would wrap up your ending... »»

During my childhood I had learned to connect Princess Ariel and Jasmine's amazing looks with what real... »»

Somebody else has asked this question in the past. The truth is, they probably expect you... »»

A little short is okay, but try to get as close to the number they specify as... »»