Undergraduate Admission Essays

Thank you. »»

How should we know what your reasons for transferring or what your objectives are? You will have... »»

Also, please do not post duplicate threads. Thank you. »»

Wonderful work,I like the content,and the flow..although you need to work on your grammar. »»

Good work!I just wish I could write like you. »»

Every year f For the past three years, I've been thinking about what I wanted to do... »»

Thank you to all of you who have thus far given me feedback. Keep it coming!... »»

Great second draft. Make sure you use tenses consistently, though -- you tend to drift between two... »»

I feel that essay has some problem. 3 paragraphs above You only talk about how you tried... »»

thank you all! I really appreciate your advice! happy valentine's day! »»

Thank you vey much for corrections... »»

To Kevin- Thank you so much your advice will help me make my essay more consistent and... »»

On the one hand, I hope to work as an inspector for food and drink in Asian... »»

1. I have two goals that I've set for myself. I will join ROTC program... »»

Haha, thanks Kevin. Those are some good points, I know I tend not to explain a... »»

For [A] I think you should omit the first 3 sentenses since the prompt does not ask... »»

My friend inspired me to follow my interest by taking up a few courses on visual communication.... »»

this is great. hope you get in : ) »»

Yay! I got in! I want to thank everyone who gave me their advice and criticism. Thank... »»

For as long as I can remember, I have always had a passion for technology and a... »»

made me laugh, smile, pleased and wonder when will i be able to write like you.... »»

but the person that who influenced me the most is my older sister for granted like... »»

You might want to change Earl's name, because "My Name is Earl" is the title of some... »»

I LOVE YOUR ESSAY. I WISH THAT I COULD WRITE LIKE YOU. I like the fact that... »»

Well, if anyone tries to steal your essay, you show that it is YOUR original work because... »»

No, don't trash the first part! But get rid of that weak first sentence. Then,... »»

Lehigh knows they stand out, and knows theyre great. Do some research, find values off... »»

Kent, I hope that your material was not inappropriately used, but boomdizzle99 did not deny having copied... »»

Ha ha, I was going to say that is a cool idea, because the most influential person... »»

thank you guys,I really appreciate your help I will try to edit my essay. »»

Pharmacy has something called the PCAT exam. http://pearsonassess.com/haiweb/Cultures/en-US/site/Communit y/PostSecondary/Products/pcat/pcathome.htm »»

Some more suggestions: "the Canon A560 I have, though, has become familiar to me" "it... »»

Excellent. That solves the problem quite nicely. »»

Kevin did a really thorough job of going through your essay, but here a few more fixes... »»

You could go with "My greatest passion is my passion for success." or simply... »»

I'd say this still needs some revision, mostly to smooth out the flow of ideas. "I... »»

A really well-written essay. The opening line does need a bit of work, though. When using a... »»

Essay copied from another site, we cannot help you and we have to suspend your membership. »»

decided to visit various colleges and... ...schools online and believed that had made up my mind...... »»

Well do the different essays have different requirements? if not you can use the same essay, but... »»

Alright thanks, sent in the app. If possible please delete this thread or edit my posts to... »»

You have a fairly strong first draft here. Revising for conciseness is always a good idea. Of... »»

WOW thanks so much for all the help in all my essays Kevin its muchmuch appreciated :D:D... »»

Use quotation marks, like this: "In which state are you going to study next year?" my... »»

This essay is well-written. If you had more time and space, I would suggest engaging in a... »»

This taught me to learn about sharing and caring for my 3 siblings equally. I... »»

I was staying in New Jersey and only for a limited amount of time. I did, however,... »»

As I walked in a daze down Wall Street, I bumped into numerous rushed business people with... »»

Thanks! Wow, I hadn't noticed those mistakes. Thanks again! »»

No, no the second paragraph is fine, I just meant the words to the song. The conclusion... »»

i added this sentence to the first essay. is it good or bad it the one... »»

Thank you alot Kevin and all the moderators , contributers and members who helped.. i submitted it... »»

So, for example, you might talk about how you are a good listener who can easily understand... »»

thanks »»

It is because I find chemistry so fascinating and the idea of chemical engineering so appealing, that... »»

Their reactions made me and happy and melted my heart and they made me confident, happy, and... »»

...who wants to have an early focus... ...the management of organizations, and ... The... »»

Through the application of creativity, inquisitiveness, and analytical skills, engineers collaborate together to build astonishing structures, apply... »»

These are great. Well written and interesting, and the last one was very funny, it's great that... »»

Take out commas that interrupt col rhythm, and you can make it direct and powerful, like a... »»