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Undergraduate Admission Essays

Writing college admission, application, and scholarship essays.

Moderators: EF_Team, EF_Kevin, EF_Sean, EF_Simone, EF_Stephen, EF_Susan
page:  ««  1  2  ...  31  32  33  34  35  ...  73  74  »» Sorted by: Latest Replies | Sort by: New Threads
Subject
Replies
Author Last Reply
Spelman College Essay- Please Review & Make neccessary changes as u see fit
So, as you continue to revise, keep this in mind: "Seeking knowledge and commitment to service"... and... »»
2
cwales6
Mar 7, 09, 11:48am
EF_Kevin
Mar 8, 09, 12:42pm
[Help]Org. & HR Mgmt Homework
Don't forget that if you post the draft of your answers to the question here, we will... »»
6
Plaintiff
Mar 6, 09, 10:26am
EF_Sean
Mar 8, 09, 12:09pm
intellectual pursuit + a brief autobiographical statement
"Although I have always been considered intelligent and well read by my families and friends,I feel,to my... »»
2
shinez
Feb 28, 09, 08:56am
EF_Sean
Mar 6, 09, 05:40am
Commonapp short answer ("a member of track and field team")
No problem -- that's why we're here. Feel free to post the revised draft for more feedback.... »»
4
Greekman
Feb 28, 09, 03:27pm
EF_Sean
Mar 6, 09, 05:34am
U of Minnesota - My Dream, My Will
Kevin is right. This is a great essay. Here a few more minor fixes: "For example,... »»
3
KeonYe
Feb 22, 09, 08:03pm
EF_Sean
Mar 6, 09, 05:32am
Should universities require students to learn many subjects?
Also, you could add that exposure to a wide variety of topics develops certain general learning skills... »»
6
cici510988
Feb 20, 09, 03:32am
EF_Sean
Mar 6, 09, 05:14am
NYU supplements 5 short answers
Thankx Tyler! I am staying in Singapore. And everyday is summer here. That's a huge blind spot.... »»
3
alright
Mar 4, 09, 11:32am
alright
Mar 5, 09, 11:14am
texas austin (rat surgery)
I love this essay, your topic is really creative, totally love it! »»
7
luckygirl
Feb 22, 09, 12:03am
technogirl
Mar 5, 09, 03:26am
Technology for ESL Students
One technique is to just brainstorm every possible idea that you have to support your thesis(no matter... »»
5
esperanza_10472
Feb 27, 09, 06:43am
Gautama
Mar 3, 09, 10:29pm
Common Application Essay -- Why I Want to Transfer to Cornell
The ending isn't that bad. It clearly refers back to the opening, "We are raising you and... »»
3
pvg
Mar 1, 09, 07:35pm
EF_Sean
Mar 3, 09, 07:35pm
UT Transfer--Statement of Purpose (undecided?)
Alternatively, if you afterward became an A student, you could mention that, so that you end up... »»
16
mcalvelloxx
Feb 12, 09, 01:36pm
EF_Sean
Mar 3, 09, 07:21pm
Rice Transfer (reasons I choose Rice)
You could probably also tighten up the writing a bit, making things more concise. For instance, "I... »»
8
meli
Feb 15, 09, 04:44pm
EF_Sean
Mar 3, 09, 07:11pm
Common App -- Why I Would Like to Transfer
I wanted a job that would truly challenge me and give me room to grow, and I... »»
4
robbyj123
Mar 2, 09, 04:10pm
EF_Kevin
Mar 3, 09, 01:17pm
UT Austin issue of importance! Taking a Stand: Activism.
Your problem seems to be that your issue is more like a meta-issue. I mean, if everyone... »»
5
katj21
Feb 28, 09, 01:20pm
EF_Sean
Mar 2, 09, 08:32pm
Burnett Honor College Essay for Entrance
Specific is good, as the others have mentioned. In addition to specific anecdotes, you might want to... »»
3
scholargirl
Mar 1, 09, 03:43pm
EF_Sean
Mar 2, 09, 08:19pm
Scholarship Personal Statement (my dream of becoming a doctor)
Just remember that you need to convey the idea that you desperately need the scholarship while simultaneously... »»
8
scholargirl
Feb 11, 09, 10:01pm
EF_Sean
Mar 2, 09, 06:42pm
Scholarship Essay - degree vs a positive contribution to society
Sounds like you have a clear vision of what you want to do with your life. Good... »»
5
scholargirl
Feb 11, 09, 09:24pm
EF_Sean
Mar 2, 09, 06:35pm
Why did you choose to apply to UCF? ["My mind is like a open book"]
With only a sixth grade education, he as a man who worked his whole life just to... »»
3
lguer47860
Feb 28, 09, 07:43pm
EF_Kevin
Mar 1, 09, 06:42pm
SBU Essay - An Intellectual Experience
When you say, "mounting the horse with a bizarre passion that was overwhelming in its sincerity," it... »»
4
madihalubsyoux3
Mar 1, 09, 01:02am
EF_Kevin
Mar 1, 09, 01:08pm
Statement of purpose (the Petroleum and Geosystems Engineering program)
After high school graduation I had to decide to which colleges I would apply and what major... »»
2
adil77
Feb 28, 09, 05:47pm
EF_Kevin
Mar 1, 09, 12:49pm
UT Austin McCombs Transfer Essays
Your essay is excellent. Great style, solid grammar, and you stay on-topic. For the second one, the... »»
2
Loeia
Feb 28, 09, 05:14am
EF_Sean
Feb 28, 09, 11:57pm
Reason for Transferring Statement
thank you for the help. »»
4
pandafrenzy
Feb 28, 09, 12:15pm
pandafrenzy
Feb 28, 09, 10:08pm
UT Austin Transfer Admission Essay (statement of purpose)
franktank07: A surge of energy simultaneously left my body. My senses weakened as the world around me... »»
5
franktank07
Feb 27, 09, 07:49pm
EF_Kevin
Feb 28, 09, 02:31pm
Admission Essay - Subject of importance to me (Diseases Du Jour)
amanda-- thank you for letting me know that my thesis is unclear. you clearly did not... »»
3
egonz1126
Feb 27, 09, 05:53pm
egonz1126
Feb 28, 09, 01:32pm
"What I can contribute to UTSA" (University of Texas at San Antonio)
Ha ha, yeah, at first I thought it was where you go to learn how to elude... »»
4
TB_1588
Feb 26, 09, 01:38am
EF_Kevin
Feb 28, 09, 10:47am
American University in Cairo (what's best for me)
i have already gave the essay to the university. anyway thanks »»
3
arwa
Feb 22, 09, 11:18am
arwa
Feb 27, 09, 11:51pm
admission award (art/music)
oh... I see. Well, good luck!!!!! :))))) »»
4
hannahkim91
Feb 26, 09, 11:22am
EF_Kevin
Feb 27, 09, 03:43pm
U of Illinois Academic Interests and Goals - Legend
Hey, this looks great! I think it will make a good impression. »»
5
KeonYe
Feb 25, 09, 10:27pm
EF_Kevin
Feb 27, 09, 03:34pm
The University of Texas (Artistic Impact)
I knew my place, and I wanted to continue to experiment in order for me to be... »»
2
babevi
Feb 26, 09, 05:33pm
EF_Kevin
Feb 27, 09, 03:16pm
As an adult returning to college - how would college change your life?
I think this is great that an adult is heading back to college! »»
9
gder27
Jan 29, 09, 01:10pm
TB_1588
Feb 27, 09, 12:49pm
My grandmother. Describe a person who has had an influence in you
NICE! You are great. good job. »»
13
kerwinteh
Feb 25, 09, 10:22am
EF_Kevin
Feb 26, 09, 11:12pm
A person who has an influence (LOVE YOU so much)
oh ok thnx everyone for ur suggestion. »»
8
lialia
Feb 24, 09, 12:58am
lialia
Feb 26, 09, 07:57pm
Why U of Illinois (puzzle)
tell my plans when I attend the school? but the word limit is only 300 and I... »»
6
KeonYe
Feb 22, 09, 09:48pm
KeonYe
Feb 26, 09, 05:23pm
undergraduate transfer essay (Fresh out of high school)
Thanks Guys, I appreciate your help. I am in the process of a rewrite :) »»
3
bmeans08
Feb 24, 09, 12:09am
bmeans08
Feb 26, 09, 04:10pm
Summer Program (Contribution to the diversity of the culture)
. My family values were passed along not only by parents and siblings, but also by grandparents,... »»
5
Yahiriz
Feb 25, 09, 07:13pm
EF_Kevin
Feb 26, 09, 11:51am
Summer Program Why biomedical research?
Definitely on the right track. Some more minor grammatical things: "I read about anatomy over and... »»
5
Yahiriz
Feb 23, 09, 08:47pm
EF_Sean
Feb 26, 09, 02:00am
Short essay for Summer Program (infallible set of skills)
Your essay is getting pretty good. Now, you must learn to master the comma: "new things,... »»
7
Yahiriz
Feb 22, 09, 06:20pm
EF_Sean
Feb 26, 09, 01:56am
The "Redneck" Culture
You might want to provide a coherent definition for redneck that encompasses all of the meanings you... »»
3
CTowers
Feb 24, 09, 03:08pm
EF_Sean
Feb 26, 09, 01:29am
issue of importance to me (medical problems)
Is there maximum word count for you to use? This is so excellent, and I... »»
3
wow
Feb 24, 09, 11:38pm
EF_Kevin
Feb 25, 09, 10:04pm
Stanford Residential Essays: future education, college exposure, SMYSP
Seeing him in a new light – the vulnerable side – made me want to pursue a... »»
2
angel2u2000
Feb 23, 09, 07:23pm
EF_Kevin
Feb 24, 09, 08:39pm
The University of Texas at Austin - (successful artist)
Thanks, Kevin and John!!! And thanks to the ones that had commented previously as well!!! This is... »»
10
babevi
Feb 11, 09, 06:32pm
babevi
Feb 24, 09, 07:44pm
NJIT what academic, educational, or other experiences have you had
thanks a lot »»
3
yasin391
Feb 22, 09, 09:49am
yasin391
Feb 24, 09, 06:35pm
Ramapo Essay (critical moment)
thanks so much for your help I really appreciate all the grammar mistakes you corrected and all... »»
5
coriimon
Feb 22, 09, 07:59pm
coriimon
Feb 24, 09, 06:16pm
Ryerson undergraduate admission essay writing. (reasons, details)
Thank you guys so much :) !! I now got a final draft for business management !!... »»
3
infatuation
Feb 23, 09, 02:56am
infatuation
Feb 24, 09, 01:32pm
admission essay (clear goals in medicine)
In the last sentence of the first paragraph, you might want to refer back to that moment... »»
3
seu3
Feb 23, 09, 05:31pm
EF_Kevin
Feb 24, 09, 08:27am
Stanford Essay - Medical: academic weekday, experience, low-income, health
Hmmmm . . . perhaps you should break this up into several threads, by posting each essay... »»
1
angel2u2000
Feb 23, 09, 08:22pm
EF_Sean
Feb 24, 09, 08:01am
Activity since secondary school
What do you mean "you can't seem to access the reply?" You must be able to read... »»
4
melat
Feb 23, 09, 09:46am
EF_Sean
Feb 24, 09, 07:52am
UT Transfer SOP Essay (theatre technician)
This essay is very well-written. You have a great style, and tell an interesting story. The conclusion... »»
2
metrion
Feb 22, 09, 10:56pm
EF_Sean
Feb 24, 09, 07:17am
transfer essay (what I can learn from life)
You're getting there. Some more suggestions: "I always ask myself what I can learn from life,... »»
3
michelle127
Feb 22, 09, 10:35pm
EF_Sean
Feb 24, 09, 06:50am
Common App Essay - about me (special cakes)
And In the 16 years I've lived in Beijing I have seen changes of a magnitude that... »»
2
hannahaltheakay
Feb 22, 09, 08:01pm
EF_Kevin
Feb 23, 09, 07:03pm
post secondary essay (every ounce I have)
The ending is fine. Good luck in school! :) »»
7
medgirl44
Feb 19, 09, 06:19pm
EF_Kevin
Feb 23, 09, 08:07am
UT Austin, statement of purpose
"Upon graduation, I will strive to help my fellow man and improve our communities." I would... »»
3
soultrang9
Feb 20, 09, 01:29pm
shan00ts
Feb 22, 09, 01:41pm
Undergraduate Admission Essay to UT Austin- Statement of Purpose
You should not make your essay too long, because it would make the admissions tired... Also they... »»
5
tsumlakers88
Feb 18, 09, 01:07pm
yasin391
Feb 22, 09, 09:46am
How is school meeting your needs? Columbia transfer essay.
Thank you so much for your help »»
13
Yuta
Feb 18, 09, 04:41am
Yuta
Feb 22, 09, 12:39am
Georgetown - Somalian Pirates
Pirates are indeed criminals, and not terrorists, when they carry out their activities for financial gain. The... »»
7
missingfeet
Feb 20, 09, 02:34pm
EF_Sean
Feb 21, 09, 10:14pm
Scholarship Essay, a love of writing and education
Your writing involves a high level of diction, which is good, and general grasp of grammar and... »»
3
mckyle
Feb 20, 09, 08:07pm
EF_Sean
Feb 21, 09, 09:48pm
SOP Essay for UT - Austin
Hey, specific is good in this case, for sure. You might want to say "a focus... »»
4
rustydoornob
Feb 19, 09, 10:53am
EF_Kevin
Feb 21, 09, 12:19pm
common app short answer- macaroni penguins
This is a well written essay, too bad you have to cut it down! One thing... »»
3
prettylush
Feb 20, 09, 01:23pm
EF_Kevin
Feb 21, 09, 09:41am
UT at Austin - Transfer Essay (first literature, now medicine)
Yeah, the essay seems solid as it stands. Really, saving someone's life versus free snacks -- it... »»
13
klynette
Feb 12, 09, 11:06am
EF_Sean
Feb 21, 09, 04:08am
My 2nd Admissions Essay for University of Austin, become more independent
From My mother, my girlfriend, and even my current job have all had an impact on me... »»
2
tsumlakers88
Feb 18, 09, 11:09pm
EF_Kevin
Feb 19, 09, 04:52pm
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