Undergraduate Admission Essays

Oh.... yes, I think you should attend to that prompt about evaluating an experience. I think... »»

Jay, in both the prompts the central point is 'the impact on you'. You appear to have... »»

Complacently This letter may indeed become one such document, but... Above, I don't think "complacently" works... »»

You might be better off looking to see if there is any reason not to attend either... »»

Your second essay is a good description of something that is important to you. Is that what... »»

Very powerful and thought provoking. thanks again »»

Try to draft an outline by using question and answer form. Here's the example: Why am... »»

Up at the top, you said to me, "I really appreciated." That's a common mistake, but... »»

When looking at photos of my childhood, the usual, carefully manicured sets of school pictures are scarce.... »»

Hey, I look forward to seeing the next draft! I see that all but the second... »»

Now I'm studying Advertising and have already realized that main tools of an advertiser, as well as... »»

With regard to the essay about who "you" are, you could argue that every single quality embodied... »»

Thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it! »»

thanks a lot! i appreciate your help! so i'm submitting it tonight! i think it's ready!... »»

Thank you, Kevin. Your recommendations were a great help. »»

"This college offers me many different opportunities and resources to take the road of success." You might... »»

This essay is upbeat and energized. You seem to have a cool personality. I think... »»

Thanks! »»

Thank you, Kevin. I have taken your suggestions and have revised it very heavily. I believe I... »»

Thanks for the reviews. I will be sure to keep the recommendation in mind during the rewriting... »»

Thank you very much, Kevin!! »»

For the sake of making that first paragraph well-structured, I think you should find a way to... »»

In my childish imagination, I associated immigration to Israel like an exciting adventure to a new world.... »»

I came to the United States as an new immigrant in 2005. In my home country, Romania,... »»

My interests in economics, business and finance have been long standing. Since youth, I have always been... »»

Your last paragraph seems a bit desperate. I think you should focus less on the hopelessness of... »»

I agree with Kevin -- the first paragraph should go. Apart from that, the essay looks good.... »»

That will help. The idea is to stay fairly neutral yourself, to avoid seeming overly religious or... »»

Attached on merging: essay to demonstrate your interest to study at JKP Prompt:. Motivation to... »»

If accepted I will establish what I am capable of, I believe the University of Hartford will... »»

Just wondering, since I have to answer the same questions/topic above, but is it okay to use... »»

Thank you soooo much :) »»

Hey, now, let's figure this out. You need to write about the attributes of a good ECE... »»

hahhah, you are the same like me, SMU is also my back-up plan , and I don't... »»

hey molly! Not once, in my whole high school career, have I said to... »»

Page 217 in an autobiography does seem like it would cover material that happens well after the... »»

I am not only I gifted in the study of languages and humanities, but also in math... »»

Since I was in elementary school, I enjoyed working with numbers. It challenged me. ...had... »»

Thank you so much for your comment. It's supposed to be 300 words and I still have... »»

Cool topic! I would choos one faculty member from this school to which you are applying, even... »»

Attached on merging: U Penn Short Answer - revised Penn offers its undergraduates an eminent... »»

I agree with kevin, follow that and it will sound great »»

The changes you made are good. I don't think you need help with the transition, it seems... »»

"Medical scientists commonly work with human and how the world around humans affect their bodies." This... »»

Despite the fact that some of these posts have gotten a little more personal than I would... »»

Thanks Keven^^ I appreciate your help and advice! Trying to figure out my final version. »»

Great job. Your revised essay is very well-written. I can't think of any major criticisms for you,... »»

Thanks so much for the feedback and peer-editing, it really helped, and yep it's for questbridge, so... »»

Good job on the essay. Kevin is right, though, you should tie your achievement into your educational... »»

The pain of discipline was tough, at times, but it was more welcoming than the pain of... »»

Yeah, losing an essay you've worked really hard on is a horrible experience, especially if you were... »»

wow, It's a good idea. I will do it and I will post my essay later. thanks... »»

Cool! You have one of the most fascinating subjects. Muscle testing is especially fascinating. Look... »»

Hey, I like the essay a lot, but like Sean says, it is important to thead it... »»

Wow, Mustafa makes such a poignant and meaningful contribution to this forum. People are getting a... »»

Ok thank you all very much. This was a great help! »»

The dream sequence was really very well done -- you should be proud of it. Good job,... »»

So, as you continue to revise, keep this in mind: "Seeking knowledge and commitment to service"... and... »»

Don't forget that if you post the draft of your answers to the question here, we will... »»

"Although I have always been considered intelligent and well read by my families and friends,I feel,to my... »»