Undergraduate Admission Essays

However, the word "foreigner" is not in and of itself pejorative, as certain ethnic slurs are. If... »»

Thanks for your suggestions guys. I will make adjustments to my essay. »»

Well, why do you want to attend the camp? Is it to broaden your mind? Meet new... »»

If I were you, firstly I will think of which one aspect of yourself can mostly attract... »»

That's a good suggestion even if your interest is sincere. When writing an application of any kind... »»

Since I was a child Good job. Now, go through and remove excessive words that clutter... »»

THANKS A MILLION. its a great help. :) »»

Simone, I'm so glad you mentioned "indecision." I could not find the words to express what I... »»

I'd say the essays are pretty important, if only because they show how much a student wants... »»

Thanks for your reply! ^^ »»

Thanks a billion Kevin, I will surely do these things. No I don't have to write... »»

I am excited about working for a company that not only supports their employees' imagination and creativity,... »»

PeterV: Write to tell what happened on your trip into outer space. Your essay seems to... »»

Guys, I wanted to thank all of you millions! I have received the scholarship. Could not have... »»

...to provide me and my brother with good educations. Well, to improve it you need to... »»

The opening paragraph should be a psychological attack on the senses; it should surprise the reader with... »»

That's the one. »»

I really like the gallery of people you introduce. However, if this is meant as a college... »»

Recently I have [recently] completed my Intermediate Level in [the] science stream from one of the reputed... »»

At the end, you should add a sentence or two that captures what the experience taught you,... »»

Something I learned when I was teaching down in the States. The sample text was "A Good... »»

I just want to say thanks for all the help! »»

How about this way: Carrie Bradshaw idolizes them. Michael Jordan markets them. The Wizard of Oz... »»

Hmmmm . . . was your first airplane flight really that important to you? Try to pick... »»

I just finished advising someone else to do this, but it bears repeating here -- use strong... »»

Cutting is easy, when it other people's writing you are cutting. When you have to cut your... »»

From my place I am thankful for every lesson he taught me, especially those lessons that I... »»

In April of 2007, when I applied for Columbia's Summer High School Program, I remember writing about... »»

Thank you all for your responses! It really helped me "clean" up my story. I will... »»

Working at the family restaurant was one of the darkest moment in my life. You should... »»

so any comments about writing an admission paragraph :( i prefer an essay. it's easier to tell... »»

hi kevin. thank you for your help. I have sent the letter correcting my mistakes. By... »»

thanks so much everyone!!! »»

Really really thank you very much!!! That really helps me out. I don't know how to thank... »»

That seems like good advice. I bet it is a very stressful test. »»

Visiting Hoa Sen charity shelter left an indelible mark on my memory. During the visit, I had... »»

Hey, I think this sentence does not need the "unfortunately": Well, unfortunately it took me 16 years... »»

Your answer is excellent. Good job. It can't have been easy cutting down that much when you... »»

Pressure was induced by forty pairs of eyes aimed my direction. A drop of sweat scampered from...... »»

Okay, you say, "By taking suggestion from older friends, one has an excellent opportunity to learn about... »»

Another goal of mine is to get the training and education I need to perform any daily... »»

You're on the right track. I would point out, however, that you probably don't mean this: "The... »»

Kofi Annan was the Secratary General of the UN, so don't just call him a diplomat.... »»

Thank you so much! I will go back and look through it. »»

Also, I experienced the foreign cultures and met diverse people during the travel. Oh, I see that... »»

Yes, you want to revise this essay to make sure you give a better impression of yourself.... »»

EF_Kevin: Therefore, NU is the ideal college for me, and... Yup! That sounds a lot better!... »»

Congratulations! You are a good leader. Creative, too. After the close of the school Arts... »»

Thanks for the help I'm going to make the corrections you suggested. »»

What past work experiences, skills, capabilities do you already have that you can bring onto campus?... »»

Well, you already seem to have made a lot of progress on this essay, but there is... »»

Don't be messing with the language! It's when the dialectic subtleties we use begins to get... »»

Everyone faces obstacles. Some of them are small, and they will be easy to go through. overcome... »»

Thank it helped alot....!!! »»

Great! Good luck, I hope it is well-received. »»

I'm very appreciative that University of California Davis has offered me an opportunity for an appeal. After... »»

Please give a little bit more substantial help to other members! Then, I'll spend time helping... »»

Yeah, don't use the forum quite that way. It should not be a resource the enable... »»

Thanks Sean. I'll let everyone know if I get the scholarship. »»

Thank you so much it has been very helpful! »»