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Undergraduate Admission EssaysWriting college admission, application, and scholarship essays. |
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| page: «« 1 3 4 5 ... 70 71 72 73 74 »» | Sorted by: Latest Replies | Sort by: New Threads |
| Subject | Author | Last Reply | ||
| How I Role Model (UC PROMPT #1) I see that Susan got the errors... but little things could be improved, like... no comma is... »» |
KMA Nov 15, 09, 09:05pm | EF_Kevin Yesterday, 05:53pm | ||
| Common App Short Answers -- Marching Band Yeah, it's really nice! I do like the forwards and backwards thing, as it conveys repeitive... »» |
astronaut Nov 17, 09, 05:07pm | EF_Kevin Yesterday, 05:37pm | ||
| Emerson supplement short answer life title In order to support the "to be continued" theme, you should revise with a focus on resilience,... »» |
brynnmosel Nov 17, 09, 04:33pm | EF_Kevin Yesterday, 05:24pm | ||
| An essay about Pole Vaut-Rutger's essay I agree with amaryrose: to submit this as a college essay, you will have to tie your... »» |
woogiez Nov 18, 09, 11:59pm | Vulpix Yesterday, 05:16pm | ||
| a surfeit of mortgages - BU Scholarship Essay Ah!! It will be better if you take a side, or say something assertive in that first... »» |
raven Nov 17, 09, 03:36pm | EF_Kevin Yesterday, 05:16pm | ||
| "The Mexican" Personal Statement Working through out my sophomore and junior year was tough but I learned how to manage... »» |
Mayra Nov 16, 09, 04:43pm | zomgyams Yesterday, 04:59pm | ||
| "Diversity through Music" - Rutgers Diversity Prompt Yeah, isn't it weird how our writing looks different the next day? Well, as you revise, focus... »» |
Sidefreeze Nov 17, 09, 02:45pm | EF_Kevin Yesterday, 04:57pm | ||
| "my grandpa's journey" - significant experience, my college admission essay The process of coping with his death has taught me a lot. It made me understood the... »» |
jamesmai92 Nov 17, 09, 02:29pm | EF_Kevin Yesterday, 04:51pm | ||
| "passionate abut studying" - University of Rochester Supplement (common app) (start with a sentence that SHOWS that you are passionate about studying). Then continue... and I'm sure... »» |
Jd87rh Nov 14, 09, 08:42pm | EF_Kevin Yesterday, 04:48pm | ||
| UWM personal statement 1 - culturally enriching aliaad: never had any problem getting along ...best friends back then was a Chinese....very well assimilated with... »» |
aliaad Nov 17, 09, 01:51pm | EF_Kevin Yesterday, 03:56pm | ||
| Activity Essay for the Common app Student tutors were only selected from the senior AP Calculus classes. Being a fervent fan of mathematics,... »» |
HelpPls Nov 15, 09, 01:29pm | EF_Kevin Yesterday, 03:39pm | ||
| UC Prompt #1 - My World It seems unique that you used A for alliteration, but this type of English tool should not... »» |
Occidentalis Yesterday, 01:39pm | shinji344 Yesterday, 03:29pm | ||
| Common app. ethical dilemma: alcoholism First I think you should omit "useless, pathetic and stupid" and put quotes around "substance abuse"... »» |
calderon Yesterday, 01:37am | TFS109201 Yesterday, 03:15pm | ||
| UC Personal Statement: community Going to school and interacting with friends does not really set you apart from anyone! Yes, you... »» |
mshalavadi Nov 17, 09, 09:18am | EF_Kevin Yesterday, 02:59pm | ||
| Common App - both long and short answers Crack! I was down. A million different thoughts spun in my head. That is just an... »» |
tjk10 Oct 28, 09, 08:21pm | EF_Kevin Yesterday, 02:46pm | ||
| "Seek, seek"-common application short answer( elaborate on one of your activity) Maybe you can think of something creative to do with seek, seek, seek. Seeking scholarly sources, web... »» |
jelly Nov 17, 09, 07:57am | EF_Kevin Yesterday, 02:15pm | ||
| UC Essay #2 An important experience. Roller Coaster Mustafa, you are so mean! Ha ha, and even though my first impulse is that it... »» |
JennB2288 Nov 17, 09, 05:18am | EF_Kevin Yesterday, 02:05pm | ||
| MA College of pharamacy supplement - feedback This is coming out well, I just found a few things... ...wanted a profession in the... »» |
nmp07 Nov 17, 09, 10:36pm | EF_Susan Yesterday, 01:41pm | ||
| UC prompt 1 - Your world and Aspirations. Whenever someone tells you about a conflict, and they tell you the other person used them as... »» |
natasha99 Nov 11, 09, 05:47pm | EF_Kevin Yesterday, 01:14pm | ||
| MacCauley Honors Essay Topic See the World Your first sentence is a great attention grabber! You need to make a clear thesis statement... »» |
PolinaFerd Nov 17, 09, 09:07pm | EF_Susan Yesterday, 01:09pm | ||
| UC Prompt #1 - Traditions The traditions of her family fascinated me; the meal was... How fascinating it is for... »» |
gumdrop41 Nov 17, 09, 12:46am | EF_Kevin Yesterday, 12:54pm | ||
| "Studying Spanish" - U of M Diversity Essay Question Ok, you have two different essays going on here, one with a great idea and example, the... »» |
aguafria22 Nov 13, 09, 10:26pm | purl81 Yesterday, 12:41pm | ||
| the mountain lion UC prompt 1 You are talking about a love of nature but there is no nature in this. Take advantage... »» |
caslyn1 Nov 13, 09, 11:07pm | purl81 Yesterday, 12:35pm | ||
| UC tranfer essay prompt #2 overcame thank you very much PRippr! that first part is just to grab the readers attention, but... »» |
Zonum85 Nov 18, 09, 10:25pm | Zonum85 Yesterday, 11:51am | ||
| UT Admissions essay: influential person interesting introduction the same voice that carried me through my first skating lesson and one... »» |
satang00 Nov 14, 09, 02:04pm | Babies Yesterday, 09:47am | ||
| I am going to make it to UCF, "bump in the road" takemeoutoxox: I'm going to start off this essay with a simple statement: I am going to make... »» |
takemeoutoxox Nov 18, 09, 09:33am | Llamapoop123 Yesterday, 06:13am | ||
| UC prompt 1 "Operation Iraqi Freedom" It's a moving essay, but it doesn't really show how it shaped your aspirations. Your dad going... »» |
samicaligirl92 Nov 15, 09, 11:57pm | Moonshadow0302 Yesterday, 06:05am | ||
| An experience in which I left my comfort zone and how this experience changed me I love your story! For my idea I think you should have more description about your inner... »» |
trishaa78 Nov 18, 09, 03:36pm | Twinkle Yesterday, 05:09am | ||
| UC prompt 2: Significant achievement (Soccer) OK everyone, here is my revised edition. Let me know how this one is, I am sending... »» |
calderon Nov 15, 09, 11:41pm | calderon Yesterday, 04:59am | ||
| UC Essay #1: My family and my dreams Thanks for the feedback...this is just a first draft, I forgot to say lol. So its kinda... »» |
JennB2288 Nov 18, 09, 04:43am | JennB2288 Yesterday, 02:43am | ||
| Choosing college similiar to choosing girlfriend?? You are right the introduction might not give a good first impression. I'll scrap it if... »» |
PRippr Nov 18, 09, 11:06pm | PRippr Yesterday, 02:26am | ||
| Essay prompt 2# What is your intended major? I thought this was pretty descent, but go deeper and think about the qualities of yourself that... »» |
lucky7x123 Nov 18, 09, 09:42pm | iamcentrum Yesterday, 01:52am | ||
| To China and Back - UC Prompt 1 Made some edits. Any comments? Anything is helpful I come from two worlds – one which... »» |
brngmchllthhrzn Oct 23, 09, 01:27am | brngmchllthhrzn Yesterday, 01:14am | ||
| UW Describe an experience of Culture difference positive and negative you have Family is a universal name all over the world. Even though, different cultures can influence on the... »» |
xxxiecong Yesterday, 12:26am | — | ||
| UC personal statement- community and family I made a whole new draft for these prompt. here it is . any suggestions wold be... »» |
babylocs23 Nov 17, 09, 12:06am | babylocs23 Yesterday, 12:12am | ||
| Helping Someone Dear to Me- UC prompt 2 Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, Contribution, or experience that is important to you. What... »» |
greatzak Nov 18, 09, 11:40pm | — | ||
| Consider your talents strengths academic and otherwise. What is one thing you do I am short on time, but reading your introduction here are some mistakes I caught. I... »» |
ohiostate Nov 18, 09, 09:04pm | greatzak Nov 18, 09, 11:34pm | ||
| UC Prompt 2 : Helping a friend in need In my opinion this was a good essay, but (and I am not sure what the outlook... »» |
Fallacy Nov 18, 09, 08:51pm | greatzak Nov 18, 09, 11:28pm | ||
| "Field Hockey" Common App Essay Although I was very disappointed about not being able to play with my best friend, itmy disappointment... »» |
Anguyen12t Nov 18, 09, 09:32pm | mmmargarita Nov 18, 09, 10:19pm | ||
| An artist's hands - UC Essay alliteration, gotta love it! »» |
gumdrop41 Nov 12, 09, 11:08am | amaryrose Nov 18, 09, 10:15pm | ||
| personal statement for University of Wisconsin Madison. prompt #1 thanks for the advices. I tried doing it again and it did not turn out so... »» |
helpme143 Nov 14, 09, 10:33am | helpme143 Nov 18, 09, 09:23pm | ||
| difficulty with UT austin Statement of Purpose I think this will be my final, before my submission. Thank you Kevin for the editing... »» |
nuncio900 Oct 31, 09, 03:31pm | nuncio900 Nov 18, 09, 09:18pm | ||
| "Go to bed" - UC transfer essay prompt 1 Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What... »» |
natsuken Nov 13, 09, 04:16am | natsuken Nov 18, 09, 09:06pm | ||
| UC Prompt # 1 Communications, Culture, And Iraq It's good. I can see your communication competence :) Well written! »» |
guillemondet Nov 12, 09, 12:45pm | h19890623 Nov 18, 09, 08:59pm | ||
| Which essay is stronger? (General Personal Statement) For the second one, Should I try to put more positive things throughout the earlier paragraphs or... »» |
amaryrose Nov 18, 09, 07:54pm | amaryrose Nov 18, 09, 08:49pm | ||
| UC Prompt 2 - - - - Overcoming Illness in the first sentence, you don't need "of my life" "Walking around out doors was on... »» |
ateitelb Nov 18, 09, 05:19pm | gumdrop41 Nov 18, 09, 08:41pm | ||
| Common App short answer - Marching Band Thanks! Now comes the hard part of elaborating a 150 word answer and have it still be... »» |
thatpersonphil Oct 16, 09, 09:27pm | thatpersonphil Nov 18, 09, 08:38pm | ||
| "got a call announcing that I had the job" - common app short answer-activity "Instead, I dropped by every cafe in the town with copies of my resume and expounded upon... »» |
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Nov 10, 09, 08:21am | thatpersonphil Nov 18, 09, 08:20pm | ||
| Common Application Essay An essay about moments in my life The premise is interesting, but your structure is very blocky. I would definitely recommend paring down many... »» |
TFS109201 Nov 17, 09, 07:24pm | amaryrose Nov 18, 09, 08:05pm | ||
| Short Activity Essay for Common App - Volunteering in Ecuador The only sentence I think could use some work is the second to last. "Conversing... »» |
melaaanieee Nov 18, 09, 03:47pm | amaryrose Nov 18, 09, 07:30pm | ||
| "full of changes" - UIUC Transfer Essay Hey, I would really appreciate it if anyone could skim through my essay for any errors, or... »» |
kev946 Nov 18, 09, 07:25pm | — | ||
| "mouth-watering contributions " - UC Essay Prompt 1 - Community Here are a few things to get you started: ateitelb: The scents of a perfectly cooked... »» |
ateitelb Nov 18, 09, 04:29pm | Notoman Nov 18, 09, 06:21pm | ||
| Common App- 150 words- Student Council Hey, considering we are on the same student council i think i may be of assistance lol... »» |
mle2010 Nov 16, 09, 04:36pm | medelman2010 Nov 18, 09, 05:56pm | ||
| Why engineering at Ryerson admission essay. Feedback Nov 18, 09, 05:41pm - Attached on merging: Ryerson admission essay: biomedical engineer Along with... »» |
Arwen Oct 23, 09, 09:17pm | Arwen Nov 18, 09, 05:38pm | ||
| Hospitals in Pakistan, International concern ThankU i did have some grammar issues... I have had a couple of more people read... »» |
tenzeeila Nov 16, 09, 06:04pm | tenzeeila Nov 18, 09, 05:27pm | ||
| My limits, America - a signifcent risk or ethical dilemma and its impact on you im still confused int an ethical dilemma something that goes into contradictio with your moral beliefs?.. and... »» |
tenzeeila Nov 11, 09, 08:02pm | tenzeeila Nov 18, 09, 05:25pm | ||
| Why are you considering The Ohio State University? I think you could basically do without most of the second paragraph. I don't think listing their... »» |
Jin Nov 18, 09, 02:45pm | ateitelb Nov 18, 09, 05:17pm | ||
| East meets West UC Prompt #2 They contradict one another... that is a good observation. Can you also include a paragraph that gives... »» |
SmH Nov 16, 09, 10:51pm | EF_Kevin Nov 18, 09, 04:09pm | ||
| "the person i am today" rutgers diversity prompt Don't switch verb tense: My weekend consisted of going to... this is supposed to be about... »» |
reptar28 Nov 16, 09, 10:07pm | EF_Kevin Nov 18, 09, 03:58pm | ||
| Evaluate my personal statement for University of Arizona? I have to warn you... the admissions people might be prejudice against you if you include MMA... »» |
jk17 Nov 16, 09, 09:50pm | EF_Kevin Nov 18, 09, 03:54pm |
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