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'my native Puerto Rico' - UCF -environment in which you were raised


catherineb 4 / 9  
Oct 3, 2009   #1
I was born in sunny Puerto Rico, home of the coqui, a sort of "singing frog". I spent the first eleven years of my life there, happily surrounded with family and friends. But in 2004 my parents announced we were moving to China, I was unhappy but I moved anyway. However, once I was in China, everything improved. I had a chance to learn about other cultures and spend my middle school years in a school that was more like college than an average middle school. We went on class trips to other countries, and met people of many different countries. I also learned French, and some Chinese. And as soon as I'd fallen in love with the city of Shanghai, where I lived, my parents decided to move to Florida, where I currently reside. That was another maelstrom in my life, and it took me a while to get used to my new strict Catholic school after attending an international school in China, but I learned to cope and now I am doing great in school and have made many friends that I can always count on. After those two moves I matured a lot and I appreciated other cultures and other people more than if I'd stayed in my native Puerto Rico.

any feedback would be appreciated. :)
kristinbrianne /  
Oct 3, 2009   #2
you should give a bit more detail.. why were you upset to be moving.. explain what you were feeling at that time.

admissions may see the fact that you were constantly moving a good thing because of the way you learned to adapt.. so you might want to explain how you did that. how you learned to "cope".

your essay is also pretty short so you have the ability to expand.. another good idea might be able to write in detail what these different countries were like.. how were they different from eachother.. i am just brainstorming here, i am not a outstanding essay writer myself but in reading your essay i would probably have been more interested if you were to explain all these things.
jennyz 6 / 18  
Oct 3, 2009   #3
i think you should add more differences there were between each of the places you lived. and how you thought about those differences.


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