JJ, what prompt are you trying to respond to with this statement? It would help me get a better idea of where you are supposed to be headed response wise if you could let me know the question or experience you are being asked to share in the essay. In the meantime, here are some parts that I feel can be corrected at the moment:
took on an immense task of planning a two-day youth conference called Youths against Racism.
- took on
the immense...
Our committees relied on each other functionally, but the complete lack of communication barred any impactful decision from being executed.
- While our committees relied on each other functionally, there was a complete lack of communication which prevented any impactful decision making on both parts.. I started attending everyother committee meetings, which were held on different dates, and became a spokesperson for all the committees.
An incredible amount of dedication and effort was put to become the universal team member whose presence was crucial to the progress of each committee.
- I placed an incredible amount of dedication and effort in order to become...
From this, I have learned that
and expanded my limit.
- and
broke through my...
I look forward to the additions you will be making. I hope my advice helps :-)