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I Walk By Faith - Common App Choice


hellopark 3 / 8  
Nov 27, 2010   #1
Hi! :) This is the common app, "topic of choice essay" Actually I'm not exactly sure since at first it was under the diversity topic, however I just put it under choice just for safety :P

Also, I'm sorry but could I get feedback kind of quickly? I don't want to sound rude, but alas, I slacked off a bit and my deadline is this Wednesday X) Thank you so much for reading it! Hopefully it'll be interesting (crosses fingers) :)

What does "PK" stand for? A PK is known as a "pastor's kid": someone who grows up with a pastor for a parent. And yes, unfortunately, I am one of them. And the rocky road I call life isn't what I would define as peachy.

I am not exactly the image one would picture of a pastor's kid. The purpose of my life is not to please thy Lord nor is it to convert others to Christianity. If asked to recite a bible passage, it would take me a fair amount of time. Others laugh at the fact that someone like me has a pastor for a dad.

Maybe my lack of care is due to the fact that I have had a bad experience with religion throughout my life. I have never lived in one spot for more than 4 years because of the corruption of the church, or as my mom puts it, "God wants us to teach others the message of Him". Instead, friendships were lost, and heartaches were gained. While other teenage girls care about drama, I am concerned with the minute amount money my Dad earns. Thanks to the church, I have learnt that humans are greedy, egocentric beings.

But being a pastor's kid has taught me some valuable lessons as well. Like how our lives are governed by two important words: faith and doubt. Faith in believing we've aced that Calculus exam, doubt in believing the truth in the media, or like me, wavering in between the two; ambivalent in believing a God truly exists. I believe that our lives are enclosed in "bubbles" and anything outside of them will never have any sort of significance to us. It may be just a silly hypothesis of mine, but it is an example of the many beliefs I have created due to my ties to religion. Ultimately, I have become wiser because I am a PK.

So what? One may ask, "How will someone like you contribute to society?" And I can confidently reply that I have more than two cents to throw in. Diversity goes beyond race or ethnicity. We all live diverse, unique lives. Rather than pitying myself over my own nonmainstream life, I will embrace it, and use it to my advantage. Being a PK has led me to negative experiences and downbeat emotions. From that, I have learned that what I desire is happiness. With my other passion, my art, I wish to bring people closer. I want to create laughter; laughter that temporarily lifts the international tension put onto the world, and that can put smiles on peoples' faces. And with the weight off our shoulders for once, maybe once can we see the beauty of our different lives and appreciate it.

So I take back what I said in the beginning. I am thankful for being a PK. During hard times I sometimes wish I was born into a different family, and I admit the life I dream of living is nothing similar to the one I have now. But I have learned a lot, and I want to make a difference in the world. As cliché as it sounds, it is my goal. And some of my readers may doubt it, but unlike them, I have faith. After all, I am a PK.

---
I probably have many grammatical errors, oops ^_^;
Thank you again, for taking your time!
smiths11 - / 2  
Nov 27, 2010   #2
"I am not exactly the imageone would picture of a pastor's kid."- repetitive, the sentence would be clearer with one or the other (picture or image)

I like how you answer this question "The purpose of my life is not to please thy Lord nor is it to convert others to Christianity." later on in the essay, "But I have learned a lot, and I want to make a difference in the world. As cliché as it sounds, it is my goal." instead of merely saying "a difference" try to be as specific as possible.

"Thanks to the church, I have learnt that humans are greedy, egocentric beings."- this is a somewhat pessimistic view, not sure if it supports your essay

A question to consider- how does being a PK enable you to make a difference in the world? You have somewhat answer the question but make it clearer in your supporting paragraphs that faith/diversity etc will help you make a difference in the world.

very interesting essay! I have always wonder what life as a PK would be like!
OP hellopark 3 / 8  
Nov 28, 2010   #3
Thanks!
Yeah the "how" part always gets me. I shall try to fix that. I guess I could have a paragraph telling an experience of how I attempted to make people happy. :P

Thanks again for your feedback! :D
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 10, 2010   #4
unfortunately, I am one of them.

hahah, whyt is it unfortunate!? I think it is great to have a parent who is passionate and thoughtful about being a spiritual leader.

...define describe as peachy.---- If you use the word "define" you need to give a definition of something.

I believe that our lives are enclosed in "bubbles" and anything outside of them will never have any sort of significance to us. ---This is intriguing, but it is not a belief. It is just a true fact. In our subjective experience we can never know anything except the stimuli we directly experience. So, it is not a hypothesis; it is an insight into the nature of the subjective human experience.

I hope you have time, Park, to study the work of Nikolai Berdyaev, my new favorite philosopher. He was an atheist until he gained an insight similar to yours. He believes that matter did not exist and make it possible for humans to be alive. He believes that consciousness existed and is having a dream.

Here is a suggestion to add some detail and meaningfulness:
As cliché as it sounds, it is my goal. Specifically, I want to _____________________. And some of my readers may doubt it, but unlike them, I have faith. After all, I am a PK.

I like your username!

:-)


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