** Please help proof read this for one of my UC apps for errors or feedback. ANYTHING! Thank you!
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?
There have been so many tremendous advances in technology over the last decade; in fact the pace is accelerating. With the increase in scientific knowledge especially, there is an increase in demand for educated students. To be good in a subject is one thing, but having the passion and love for that study pushes you to accomplish wonders. Volunteering at the National Institutes of Health has exposed me to the contemporary scientific studies taken in our day and time. The National Institutes of Health (NIH), a part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services , is the nation's medical research agency-making important discoveries that improve health and save lives. My ongoing dedication to the patients, staff and mission of the Clinical center was vigilant in recognition of almost one hundred hours of volunteer service. In an area 2,700 miles from my hometown in California, I was no stranger to the humid suburb of Maryland. By growing up in an environment centered on academic excellence, I was always moved by my community to put the best foot forward, much like the setting in the east coast. Volunteering at NIH has given me the valuable working skills, responsibility, and privilege to interact with fellow colleagues and renowned scientists. I met people from all walks of life that ranged from the healthy to the diseased patients fighting for their lives. Over the course of the next four weeks I was in charge of assisting a clinical psychologist that has worked for over twenty years at NIH that has lead countless investigations. I would assist her in revolutionary research to improve the lives of thousands of patients suffering from mental disorders. As one of fifteen volunteers from across the globe, I abided to the mission of this facility, appreciating its importance in modern studies. Participants in clinical research are the key to moving medicine forward, which was I chose to participate at the institutes of health. By working alongside a veteran in medical research, I learned what it takes to pursue a career in the medical field by gaining experience and knowledge about careers in medicine. There is a certain satisfaction gained from learning about science which has taught me to understand the world I come from, teaching me to appreciate its complexities and improve the lives of others.
"...which was I chose to participate at the institutes of health." Check the wording, you'll see the error.
There wasn't a killer point or something outside-the-box in your answer, but you answered the prompt very directly. There isn't a single question I would ask you as to how science affects your life after reading this, that's the goal, good work
Hi overall it s an excellent essay! I can picture a person with various abilities and kindness.
However, I would like to know what you have done in NIH. Maybe just a short, but elaborated example that can help readers see what was your role in NIH.
hmm just some personal opinion.
GOOD JOB! AND GOOD LUCK!
P.s. can you just have a look of my essay please and leave some comments please..thanks!
