I know this isn't very good, but I appreciate any constructive criticism!
In his novel, Let the Great World Spin, Colum McCann writes:
"We seldom know what we're hearing when we hear something for the first time, but one thing is certain: we hear it as we will never hear it again. We return to the moment to experience it, I suppose, but we can never really find it, only its memory, the faintest imprint of what it really was, what it meant."
Tell us about something you heard or experienced for the first time and how the years since have affected your perception of that moment.
It was official. At fifteen, I had become a victim of cyber-bullying. I attempted to shrug the words off, but I could not keep myself from turning them over in my head, again and again. "ur fat. and ugly. and mean. you can probably change the first one but the latter two stay with you." I could feel the thoughts I had been trying so desperately to hide, creep towards the surface. My eyes watered, and I could feel my cheeks warm. Even after being called fat and ugly countless times, the sting never seemed to fade. Each time people decided to point out my insecurities so explicitly, they never failed to hurt me. To make matters worse, the completely foreign concept that I was mean simply worsened the pain. I was going to be mean and ugly for the rest of my life. In a desperate and perhaps, pathetic attempt to mend my deteriorating self-image, I posted the insult on my Tumblr page, and agreed with the anonymous person who had insulted me, hoping he or she would apologize. Whoever it was, he or she never did.
What happened next, was nothing like what I expected. Loving and encouraging words for me, as well as retaliating words for the "bully," poured into my inbox. While I sat in bed with tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes, I read about fifteen messages, ranging from "you're beautiful" to "I realize that maybe nothing I say will convince you, but I will still try. you are beautiful, seeing you makes me smile every time. how does so much life fit into one girl, so much amazingness? be happy." In that moment, all of the insults, the taunts, the cruelty I had increasingly been receiving, seemed to dissipate. I was not ugly or fat or mean or two-faced as I had been told so many times; no, on the contrary, I was beautiful. I was amazing. I was sweet, worthy, and perfect.
Today, I look back on that day and see what others may: a sad, lonely, self-despising girl who faced a different form of bullying for the first time. However, the similarities end there. Beyond that, I also see a girl who, for the first time, felt love and edification that were strong and powerful enough to change her life. The words of both friends and strangers, who jumped to my defense without a second thought, turned me around.
Nice work.
I think you failed to show about how your perception of that event changed you.
You could write
Now, i know what words can do and what it can. The Words we alter are fragile and can't be taken back when said. Derogatory words hurt when we feel insure about who we are and once we accept no one is perfect by the help of loving people, The bad words tend to have no meaning to us.
Something like that. For your perception to change, you must have a view or an initial condition. looking back,this situation has now opened your eyes to the realization of what really happened and how your life has change.
read the last 2-3 sentence and see if you answered THE LAST PART OF THE QUESTION: CHANGE IN PERCEPTION OF THAT MOMENT
Great job. you need a better conclusion .
