A. Academic Elements (required)
Academic History
- Tell us about your college career to date, describing your performance, educational path and choices.
- Explain any situations that may have had a significant positive or negative impact on your academic progress and/or curricular choices. If you transferred multiple times, had a significant break in your education, or changed career paths, explain.
- What are the specific reasons you wish to leave your most recent college/university and/or program of study?
Your Major and/or Career Goals
- Tell us about your intended major and career aspirations.
Are you prepared to enter your intended major at this time? If not, describe your plans for preparing for the major. What led you to choose this major? If you are still undecided, why? What type of career are you most likely to pursue after finishing your education?
How will the UW help you attain your academic, career, and/or personal goals?
B. Personal Elements (required)
Cultural Understanding
- Thoughtfully describe the ways in which culture had an impact on your life and what you have learned about yourself and society as a result. How has your own cultural history enriched and/or challenged you?
- NOTE: Culture may be defined broadly. Cultural understanding is often drawn from the ethnic background, customs, values, and ideas of a person's immediate family, community, and/or social environment in which they live.
Educational Challenges / Personal Hardships (if applicable)
- Describe any personal or imposed challenges or hardships you have overcome in pursuing your education.
- Examples: a serious illness, a disability, first generation in your family to attend college, significant financial hardship or responsibilities associated with balancing work, family and school.
~~~ This is a early rough draft that I have written. I have revised somewhat from when I began but am looking forward to receive some constructive criticism on how I can improve this essay. Simple corrections such as grammar and punctuation go along way for some help. Thank you. ~~~
~~ The rough draft:
My college career has only consisted of attending Bellevue College following the completion of high school. At Bellevue College I entered to complete a transfer associate degree for business. In high school, I had only applied to one school for enrollment. After not being accepted into that school, I decided to attended Bellevue College and prepare myself better for attending a four-year university. I had a sense when I had applied to Seattle Pacific University that I would not get accepted into their nursing program because I did not have enough experience before hand in the medical field. I decided not to pursue nursing school because the job holds exceptionally high liability exposure. I decided to go into the business field because it is so diverse and because I had some previous experience from attending to my family's businesses.
I did well at Bellevue College when I began in the fall of 2012. I started out by taking three classes a quarter, attending as a full time student. My grades for classes were As and Bs until the fall of 2013. From the fall of 2013 to the summer of 2015, my grades suffered. My grades were not as great as I wanted them to be even by taking two classes a quarter in the evenings. The negative impact on my grades occurred from when a lawsuit was served to my family in regards to one of our gas stations in September of 2013. My parents do not speak very well English and I was the only one that was able to communicate with our family lawyer in regards to the lawsuit. The shock of the lawsuit being placed and stress really hindered my ability to learn. The partners who had filed the lawsuit no longer worked at the business which the suit was about and, so family had to take over business and I began working as a full time employee.
Once the lawsuit was resolved in February of 2015 my performance in school still was not my best but I managed to do my best while being a full time employee. During the Summer 2015 quarter at Bellevue College my father suffered a major heart attack. Though I received an acceptable grand in the business law class, I know I could have done better had it not been for my father's medical emergency. I was not able to attend three of the thirteen classes. Missing three classes was significantly a lot because of the amount of material covered in a single class. My overall college experience at Bellevue was a positive one. The school really allowed for me to get a sense of how demanding college life can be regardless of personal life issues.
My reasons for leaving Bellevue College are because I am close to completing my Associate in Business and would like to transfer to the University of Washington to pursue a bachelor's degree in Business Administration. A business degree would allow for me to be apart of diverse career fields such as communications, health & medicine, and government. I believe I am ready to enter the Michael G. Foster School of Business and begin the bachelors in Business Administration. My desire to be apart of the business environment began early on from being prominent in my family's day-to-day small business activities. My family is also quite active in being a part of the stock market. This is where I got an early understood of how business is associated in everyday life. With a bachelor in business administration I aspire to be part of major local companies such as Amazon, Starbucks and Expedia.
From the day I was born, I was raised in a culture compromised of hard earnest work, strong religious morals and support towards me educational decisions. I grew up in a diverse neighborhood. Not only did other Punjabi Indians surround me but also I grew up around Caucasians, African Americans, Hispanics and Ethiopians. As a young kid, I did not care about the ethnic backgrounds of my friends because I just wanted to have someone to play with when school was over. Once I reached high school, I was able to differentiate myself from other students. It was in high school when I felt different from other students because of racial slurs that were being made towards me. My culture brought me up strong. It taught me to work hard for what I want as I would face a lot of obstacles because of my ethnic background. Both my parents came to the United States with nothing but $20 in their pockets. The put their blood, sweat and tears into providing my family a successful life in the states. Society has taught me that it is full of endless opportunities but tot achieve my goals and become a successful in the business world; I will have to work very hard and overcome numerous obstacles on the way their.
I hope to gain more knowledge and information about how business takes on a significant part of everyone's day to day life. I believe that the University of Washington has diverse campus and many resources, which can allow for me to better, attain my goals. Moreover, the University of Washington would offer an environment that would allow me to develop a greater appreciation of the range and diversity of human achievement. I really enjoyed being part of Bellevue College's diverse community and would like to continue to be part of a campus that welcomes students from all ethnic backgrounds.
Meenu, I will tackle the first 3 paragraphs on your application essay;
- My college career has only consisted of attendingI attended college in Bellevue College...
- following the completion of high school.
- At Bellevue College I entered to complete a transferI took an associate degree for business.
- In high school, I had only applied to one school for enrollment., (you can merge this phrases with a comma to form a sentence)a fter not being accepted into that school,...
- I decided to attended Bellevue College and prepare myself...
- I decided not to pursue nursing school because theNursing job holds exceptionally high liability exposure and I know I'm not geared for that .
- I decided to go into theThe business field because it is so diverse
- and because I had some previous experience from attending totending my family's businesses.
-The partners who had filed the lawsuit no longer worked at the business which the suit was about andbeing sued are no longer working with us ,
- so my family had to take over the business
- OnceWhen the lawsuit was resolved in February of 2015...
- ...I managed to do my bestwell while being a full time employee.
- I was not able to attend to three of the thirteen classes.
- Missing three classes was significantly a lot because...
- ...allowed for me to get a sense of how...
Well, Meenu, you said it was a rough draft and yes it is a very rough draft, however you were able to answer what was asked and elaborate your answers too.
I hope my remarks help.
