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unlimited flexibility - WHY PENN ENGINEERING-- supplement


helloimyellow 9 / 25 3  
Dec 28, 2013   #1
The Admissions Committee would like to learn why you are a good fit for your undergraduate school choice (College of Arts and Sciences, School of Nursing, The Wharton School, or Penn Engineering). Please tell us about specific academic, service, and/or research opportunities at the University of Pennsylvania that resonate with your background, interests, and goals. (400-650 words)

**I am applying the Penn Engineering for Biomed. Any feedback would be appreciated, thanks in advance!

My earliest childhood memories are full of puzzles: Sudoku, Rubik's Cubes, tangrams- thinking puzzles. Time-consuming and mildly-addicting, they offered intensive mental workouts and so I grew up convinced that the greatest power given to mankind was that of problem solving. At the University of Pennsylvania I could harness this power. Penn Engineering is distinctly multidimensional as it stresses the importance of a hands-on approach and commitment towards global citizenship all the while encouraging interdisciplinary education throughout its diverse yet close-knit campus.

Perhaps the most distinguishing aspect of Penn Engineering, a unique focus on real-world application carefully sculpts puzzle-loving undergraduates into the future agents of scientific and technological progress. At Penn, not only are students well-learned in elaborate theories and all things hypothetical, they are constantly driven to the next level: Application. Here the curriculum is structured not around the classroom but around the world. Specifically, the real world. I am eager to tackle tasks such as the Senior Design Project which is precisely integrated into the Penn experience to encourage innovation, ingenuity, and the ambition to craft reality. Rather than a fortified focus on self, the University of Pennsylvania persistently produces active global citizens equipped to impact the world.

To me, community service has always been just as valuable as academics and I have struggled with structuring a balance between the two for my upcoming college years. How am I to continue my passion for service alongside a rigorous curriculum in engineering? Penn Engineering abolished those doubts. As a Penn Engineer, the prospects are boundless and auspiciously predesigned for hopelessly conflicted freshmen such as myself. Penn Engineering's awareness and contribution span the campus and stretch into the beautiful city of Philadelphia where science outreach programs for local schools would benefit both the community and myself as they would allow me to sustain my passion for teaching.

Furthermore, Penn's continued pursuit of ambitious projects such as Penn Connects 2.0 exposes an attitude of admirable positivity and determination. Through these endeavors, Penn's commitment to the true "application of knowledge for the greater good" has manifested itself throughout the community. However, Penn's involvement expands beyond even that and across the globe: Unique study abroad opportunities organized by the Global Biomedical Service Program as well as innovative and challenging expeditions undertaken by Engineers Without Borders would sate my desire for cultural exploration while likewise giving back. Whether it be improving the water system of a village in Cameroon, researching neuromusculoskeletal disorders in China, or holding science workshops at the local middle school, the impact of Penn students on a global scale is undeniably ubiquitous.

Aside from universal assimilation, Penn also provides the privilege of unlimited flexibility right on campus. With an engineering program that promotes interdisciplinary exploration, I could pursue interests in business and political science even while refining the problem-solving mind of an engineer. Penn clearly embraces the importance of versatility and it is this progressiveness that establishes Penn Engineering as not a follower but a pioneer of development.

Lastly, Penn's size and location are beyond ideal. Coming from a class of eight hundred students, I yearn for preservation of the vibrant student body I've known throughout high school yet also the intimate class sizes advertised by college. Here Penn strikes the ultimate balance. With thousands of undergraduate students and countless student-led activities, diversity flourishes at Penn. However, with a concise student to professor ratio and small engineering classes, the close relationships and deeper level learning I crave are guaranteed.

It is in the aspiring culture of the University of Pennsylvania in which I hope to one day thrive. Globally committed and concentrated on a practical approach, Penn Engineering would invite me to enter as an open-minded freshman and allow me to graduate with the diploma of universal citizenship. It is without a doubt that the puzzles in engineering are infinite but at Penn I could begin by solving one.
hazelhoff 4 / 17 4  
Dec 28, 2013   #2
very cliché. every essay is about puzzles, leggos, etc.
Writing is good but content is boring
OP helloimyellow 9 / 25 3  
Dec 28, 2013   #3
Thanks for the insight, I'll see what I can do about that :\

Any other readers??
maddigirl 4 / 19 2  
Dec 29, 2013   #4
I read both and the second is way better.

Not sure how I feel about this sentence: "Time-consuming and mildly-addicting, they offered intensive mental workouts and so I cheerily blossomed into a full-fledged geek, convinced that the greatest power given to mankind was that of problem solving" It's the and so that throws me off. I think you definitely show that you are passionate about penn and that its your number one choice. I have no idea if it is or not, but regardless, that's the point of an essay like this so good job!
OP helloimyellow 9 / 25 3  
Dec 29, 2013   #5
Phew! I was hoping the second would be a lot better. I reread the first draft....rough. xD I took out the "and so" and just made it "and" instead, thanks for pointing it out. I didn't realize how awkward it actually sounded. Thanks a ton for the review :)
OP helloimyellow 9 / 25 3  
Dec 29, 2013   #6
submitting this soon, could someone please look at the revision? :\\


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