Write a letter to your first-year roommate at Babson. Tell him/her what it will be like to live with you, why you chose Babson and what you are looking forward to most in college. There is no word count requirement for this letter.
Dear roommate,
I don't believe in fate. I believe in humans shaping their own futures. Therefore it was not fate that led me and you to be roommates. It was not fate that both of us are going to Babson. Both of us have dedicated years of hard work and choose to attend this school. I hope we can get to know each other better and continue working hard towards our futures.
My name is Vivian Ho and I cannot convey how thrilled I am about this new life I'm starting at Babson with you. I am Taiwanese, but I have been traveling around the world for most of my life due to my father's work; he is a diplomat. My adventures abroad include a five year stay in Hong Kong, a short spell in Nicaragua for three years, and a Latin-American experience in Panama for six. Some people find it challenging to make friends when constantly changing schools and moving around, but I have enjoyed making close friends in each place I went. Along with making new friends, I also learn their histories, cultures, languages; I became fluent in Mandarin, English, and Spanish. My friends are from many different countries and speak many different languages. I believe no matter what people's interests or nationalities are, they can form a lasting friendship. I would love to share my culture with you and get to know yours. Also, I cannot wait to share my thoughts on business with you. After all, merging ideas and innovating possibilities can be really fun.
I'm really looking forward to dorm life with you. Have you ever lived on your own before? I spent my junior year in high school living in the dorm. I am pretty independent and like to keep my place organized and clean. I have roomed with some rather messy roommates before so I understand the pain of annoying roommates, which is why I won't ever leave my clothes on the floor or stack the trash next to the door. I am also a pretty decent cook. Have you heard of bubble tea or scallion pancake before? They're some of Taiwan's most famous foods and I can make some for some of our more rigorous nights studying. I love having fun, but I would never let it interfere with my academic life. Missing classes or failing courses is one of the aspects of college I think I will not enjoy. After all, school itself is fun, you get to learn and hang out with your friends at the same time.
I still enjoy school, leading many of my classmates to marvel at my apparently otherworldly tastes. So I do not think I will have a problem with college. Babson, in particular, I think I will really enjoy. Various reasons prompted me to apply for Babson, including how much my economics professor recommends it and the amazing city it is located in. However, the main attraction is its entrepreneurship program. Babson's entrepreneurship has been ranked number one for the past eighteen years. Its specially designed curriculum will allow me to work on my business career in depth. Unlike other colleges, where I would only be able to read about the subject for two years before beginning to work with it, Babson will allow me to immerse myself with practical business from day one. I could create and run my own business projects. I am a practical person who values the importance of learning through hands on experience. Babson's approach will allow me to learn from the deep root to the top, which fits my concept that in order to succeed at anything, one should start from the core. How can skyscrapers remain high and stable without firm groundwork? Babson will lay my foundations and help me soar.
University is an important phase in life when I make life long friends and build my future. I believe our first year at Babson together will be great. We both came here for a fine business education to pursue our dreams; being able to enjoy it with people like ourselves, who have similar motivation and aspiration are just an added bonus. While Babson is the triple layer cake for dessert, getting to know and meet each other will be the cherry on top.
I like your letter, especially when you bring out the good points in you like being able to cook, but there's an overall serious tone that might make the admissions officers uneasy. Like, this is how you introduce yourself to another person, try to forget that it's actually an application supplement, but try to sound as cool and charismatic and interesting without seeming so... it just felt a bit heavy, that's all. I think it's because you started off talking about fate.
You sound like a great intellectual, I'd love you meet you, but you sound a bit formal and admissions-officers-aware in this one.
My advice is to open a new document, think about this letter, and try to rewrite it in a more chilled-down tone. Go back and reinsert important parts if you forget any, but try to sound more relaxed, and try not to sound so Babson-infatuated. Sure, let them know you love the school, but don't end up sounding like you're trying a lot. I mean I know you want to get in, and you should totally go for it dude, but be cool, be yourself.
Great letter though :)
Also... could you please review my common app essay? I'm new here, I dunno how to get around really, xD
hey thanks! i will take out the fate part just in case the person viewing this essay deeply believes in fate...
i will go review your essay now :)
This is a letter to your roommate, so don't be afraid to show your "wild side". I'm pretty sure if someone was meeting his roommate for the first time, he would try to make a good impression by being charismatic. Adding some culture to an essay like this is always good, so kudos to you. It's good that you are intellectual (hey, that's what they want!) but also show that you have a humorous side. Less formality, more personality. :)
Hope this helps.
You mind reviewing one of my essays? I would appreciate it immensely. :]
