There we were, standing in front of the mirror, examining our facial features; comparing our complexion, the width of our nose, and the length of our hair. Secretly wishing we were born with the gene for hazel eyes or clear skin. As my triplet sisters and I continued to stare at our reflections, I began to become intrigued by how we all looked so different, how we all inherited different traits and genes from our parents.
Our contrasting profiles inspired me to research the distinct phenotypes of certain cultures and ethnic groups in the world. While rows and rows of pictures occupied my computer screen, I increasingly grew fascinated by the genetic variation in the human population. I started to ponder why Soloman Island inhabitants had the gene for blood hair and why South Asians had the light skin allele.
The genetics and physical appearance of humans fascinates me because even though we all originate from a common ancestor, every individual has a set of unique and distinctive characteristics that allow him to stand out in a world of statistics, labels, and grouping.
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Prompt: Tell us about something that fascinates you, that you are amazed and intrigued by, and tell us why.
Limit: two to three paragraphs
I'm open to any suggestions/comments/revisions. All feedback is appreciated! Thank you :)
Your first paragraph is very enticing and interesting, but I lose interest in the second paragraph. If you were to rewrite it to more about why certain aspects of gene variation interest you, it may seem more interesting. I might also recommend writing a bit more, it does seem like a short essay but your trying to tell your admissions rep more about who you are, and it should be hard to do that in 7 sentences.
