Prompt: How did you learn about Colorado College and why do you wish to attend? (Early candidates: Please include a statement indicating why you are applying early.) Any comments are welcome, please be critical! Thanks so much for the help I really appreciate it!
Unequivocal Happiness: Why I'm Head-Over-Heels About CC
Almost illegible, scrawled across a crumpled piece of recycled paper are my reasons for wanting to attend Colorado College. I have to squint as I attempt to decipher some of the spontaneously written thoughts that have been accumulating since I made the voyage out to Pikes Peak this October. I realize the majority of these streams of consciousness are raw and irrational, citing that since I viewed signs to "OCCUPY" CC in the bathroom stalls of Randall Cafe, this must be a place fostering of activism and freedom of expression. Or rationalizing that since the book store sold text on the techniques of ancient Indian body painting, I would be surrounded with the tools to learn things I could not have imagined elsewhere. However slightly off kilter my reasons for falling in love with CC are, it is the small details and passions of those that attend that assure me I would get exactly what has been promised: "A Unique Intellectual Adventure."
I first learned about Colorado College in Princeton Review's "The Best 373 Colleges". For the entire summer I lugged that book around with me everywhere, marking the pages of the colleges I would be applying to in an overly-complicated color system that coincided with lists of national rankings. Then one day, as a scoured through the options, I realized I had marked my book solely according to what others had deemed a good education, completely losing sight of what was important to me. I thought about what I wanted to be in four years and settled on one word: happy. All I truly wanted was to be happy and inspired by the education I was receiving. Upon this notion, I flipped to the Review's list of happiest students, finding CC at its top. With new found passion I immersed myself in every fragment of information regarding the college I could get my hands on, finding it to embody everything I value from ethical environmental practices to intellectual integrity. I was impressed to say the least, but years of critical thinking left me skeptical that any institution could meet the high expectations I had set. The trip to campus affirmed my theory. I was right, Colorado College did not meet my expectations. It far surpassed them.
My first impressions of campus reflected the unique student body, as I watched boys dressed in pin-striped suits skateboard past me on their way to class and eavesdropped on a sun-bathing couple discussing how the philosophies behind Harry Potter reflected those of a young Plato. A tour about the dormitories caused me to envy those who were lucky enough to be a part of such a diverse and inspiring student body when I accidentally walked into a room of Kenyan exchange students rocking out to traditional music. The only thought running through my head was this is where I want to be. Further observation allowed me to discover just how adventurous and heterogeneous the campus is. With over 25 active religious groups, a large international population, and immense opportunities to study-abroad, I realized that CC could open my mind and give me the opportunities I am seeking to encounter and learn from amazing people that are much different than I.
Although the diversity of the population is extremely important to me, the people of Colorado College are more than just a conglomeration of interesting backgrounds and religious perspectives. They utilize their individualities to pursue passionate and challenging academic careers in order to gain the skills needed to impact the world. I believe Colorado College does a wonderful job of entrusting each of its students with an unprecedented level of intellectual responsibility and creative freedom. During my visit I sat in a classroom in Palmer Hall, imagining what it would be like to earn my degree in International Relations in such a beautiful and historic building. There I learned how the teachers look upon their students as academic peers and are as willing to learn from their class as they are of them. I was blown away by the college's emphasis on learning outside the classroom, something I try to consciously achieve every day of my life. This socratic learning style paired with the amazing hands-on learning opportunities offered through it's breath-taking location makes CC an ideal place to learn.
When raving about my desire to attend Colorado College it is impossible to ignore the genius of the Block Plan. With my passion for an extensive amount extracurricular activities, it would serve me wonderfully to have one class to focus on at a time. I believe the Block Plan allows it's participants to delve into each subject and focus all their energy on truly mastering the material. It is learning in it's purest, most simple form, and empowers students to take risks in their academic pursuits. I am also ecstatic about the study abroad opportunities offered due to the flexibility of the Block Plan including the Venture Grants which I would utilize to take me around the globe in order to study topics of interest to me from the condition of the Sami natives of Norway to the corruption of UN refugee camps. I was also surprised by the inspiring activities that take place each block break. My interview with Colin McCarey was enlightening as we discussed the service trips he was able to organize through the student group "Break Out" and how willing his peers proved be to help out with such projects. As service to others is what I plan on dedicating my life to, I am thrilled that CC shares my conviction of social responsibility.
"Why Colorado College" is a loaded question. I could give countless answers as to why I am applying early that extend far beyond those jotted down on my crumpled piece of recyclable paper. It is is more than the diverse people that walk its halls, more than its unique academic plan, more that the amazing opportunities it offers. It comes down to the feeling I got upon being there, we just fit. I knew this was a place I could be unequivocally happy.
I wish I could attach a word document, it would be so much easier since I already have one typed. I think the reason nobody has responded to yours yet is that it's too much text to be manageable. This is the kind of thing that would almost be easier to revise in person, because there's so much written and so much to say about what is written. I'm going to just copy the sections I highlighted that I think were especially important, and if I have time tomorrow I'll try to give you more specific advice and help point out the minutia (you use it's instead of its several time, for example). Hopefully you can help me with my essays too ^^;
Thank you so much for your comments, they are all EXACTLY what I was thinking as the turbulent parts of the essay you pointed out were not sitting well with me either. I have taken all of your comments into account and made some changes to the essay. I agree it could be cut down to make it more powerful. If you could offer any advice as to which sections you felt are least valuable (besides the intro because that whole existing one is going to be changed) I would greatly appreciate it! Looking forward to reading yours and returning the favor!
