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My uncommon path - I'm ready to return to UCF now


bluefleed 1 / -  
Apr 30, 2015   #1
Hi All!- I removed my previous thread after notificatoin that it gave a bit too much personal detail. I agreed. However, I took suggestions made by @Christina B. and revised my entrance essay, here's draft #2 (below). I look forward to your feedback on this, I I think this version is significantly better than the previous one! Thanks!

Dear Admissions Counselor:

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts", this Winston Churchill quote embodies the thought that failing a test, course or anything else in life doesn't mean you are prohibited from achieving your goals- it just means you need to go about achieving those goals in a different way. As a UCF freshman I viewed the collegiate experience as one of self discovery; personal and professional. UCF was the bridge between the teenager and young professional versions of myself. I made the right moves in attending the Lou Frey Civic Leadership Academy the summer before I started freshman year, became a LEAD Scholar and participated in the Adventure Race. However, after being academically disqualified in the spring of 2012, I made the decision to focus on overcoming my personal struggles before completing my undergraduate degree. I feel confident that I'm ready to return to UCF and I'd like to share with you the uncommon path I've found to continue my journey as a Knight.

In 2011, I dedicated most of my time to helping my mother through a foreclosure proceeding relating to our home in Ocoee. I worked full time overnight as a hotel night auditor to help her with expenses and moved into a room near campus to make sure I could get to classes on time during the day. My position with LEAD Scholars and other extracurricular involvement ceased since I simply had no additional time to spare. Taking this amount of responsibility was overwhelming and it significantly impacted my academic performance at UCF. By the time I received notice of academic probation, I made two pivotal mistakes; not acknowledging the gravity of my situation and not seeking help. In 2012, when our home was successfully out of the foreclosure battle, I regained my confidence but failed to lessen my course load while I was still working full time to help my mother financially. My thought process was "I can do it all" because I had been for so long, however, it was clearly not working for me and I lacked the confidence to seek help when I needed it most. Ultimately, I was academically disqualified in 2012 and I took time off from UCF to completely transform my personal life.

After the foreclosure was lifted from the home and my mother regained her financial independence, I decided to move to [City], [State] (just outside of [City]) with my new husband and I have worked as Executive Assistant to both the Chief Financial Officer and General Counsel at [Employer] in [City] for two years. My employer is eager to reimburse all tuition expenses relating to the completion of my undergraduate degree in International and Global Studies and a graduate degree in Economics afterward. I have also been offered the opportunity to grow into a financial risk analyst role upon my graduation; in the meantime, I am shadowing the Chief Risk Officer to develop my analytical skills and industry knowledge. In my current role, time management and delegation are critical skills that allow me to meet deadlines and I plan to put these skills to use while completing my bachelors degree in International and Global Studies at UCF. I have learned how to manage my time and communicate challenges I encounter much more effectively, the results are in my recent academic and professional achievements.

I have taken English Composition I (EC I) online at Harvard University Extension School and have enrolled in an English Composition II (EC II) course this summer term. Based on my excellent performance in EC I (obtained an A) and my current performance in EC II (on track to receive an A), I feel confident the online degree option at UCF is the best fit for my needs. I have taken steps to ensure my workload is diminished in order to complete my online degree by the fall semester of 2017. I have a flexible work schedule that allows me to focus on two online courses per semester, and as a [Employer] employee, I have access to Harvard University resources in addition to UCF resources as a distance learning student. I plan to manage my time and workload in order to stay on top of assignments, establish a study routine and reach out to professors and/or peers if I need help.

While my path toward an undergraduate diploma is less than common, I am confident to state that it's the perfect fit for me to achieve my goals. I have made enormous personal strides to build up resources and coping strategies that can help me through any challenges I may face as I successfully earn my degree. I appreciate your time in reviewing my request to allow me to complete the journey I started at as a UCF Knight.

Sincerely,

[Name]
ChristineB - / 108 55  
Apr 30, 2015   #2
I'm glad you're back! I'm going to work a little bit more on this letter for you.

Dear Admissions Counselor:

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. " Find the year that Winston Churchill said this, and put your citation here (I think in italics). Like:Winston Churchill, 1941but I just made that up, of course). I think I'd follow the way they do it at the beginning of some books.

This Winston Churchill quote is my personal motto. Like Churchill, I believe that failing does not mean you will never reach your goal. It simply means that you will need to go about reaching your goal a different way. This is why I am re-applying to your university, despite an initial set-back in earning my college degree.

When I originally enrolled as a freshman at UCF, I was full of aspirations. I viewed the collegiate experience
embodies the thought that failing a test, course or anything else in life doesn't mean you are prohibited from achieving your goals- it just means you need to go about achieving those goals in a different way. As a UCF freshman I viewed the collegiate experience as one of self discovery ; personal and professional . UCF was going to be the bridge between myteen selfthe teenage and the young professional I aspired to beversions of myself. I tried to do everything right. I prepared for college bymade the right moves in attending the Lou Frey Civic Leadership Academy the summer before I started freshman year.I became a LEAD Scholar while enrolled. Iandeven participated in the Adventure Race, excited about fully embracing the college experience .

That's just a start. Hopefully others can add more (or maybe I'll be able to come back and do more later :) ).
ChristineB - / 108 55  
Apr 30, 2015   #3
Continued...

It was 2011 when life stepped in and interrupted my college pursuits. My mother was facing foreclosure, and I began to devote nearly all of my time to helping her through the proceedings. I started worked overnight shifts as a hotel auditor to help her with expenses, still going to class during the day. The stress of trying to balance the demands of college with my new responsibilities was overwhelming, but I did the best I could. Despite my efforts, though, my grades started to suffer.

Looking back, I realize that I made two pivotal mistakes during this troublesome time. First, I refused to believe that I could fail while trying to "do it all." I had never encountered a situation so serious before, and was understandably naive about the gravity of the situation and the impact it could potentially have on my studies. Secondly, I failed to reach out for help. It takes maturity to recognize that you need help, and I simply had reached full maturity at that point in my life.


After my disqualification in 2012, I took the time to refocus and transform my life.

Ultimately, I was academically disqualified in 2012 and I took time off from UCF to completely transform my personal life.

I'll try to do more a bit later.
ChristineB - / 108 55  
Apr 30, 2015   #4
Continued...

After my disqualification in 2012, I got married, and, with the help of my dear husband, slowly began to regain my confidence. I found employment as an executive assistantAfter the foreclosure was lifted from the home and my mother regained her financial independence, I decided to move to [City], [State] (just outside of [City]) with my new husband and I have worked as Executive Assistant to both the Chief Financial Officer and General Counsel at [Employer] in [City] for two years , learning important time management, delegating, and communication skills. My work performance has impressed my employer.(He/She)is eager to see me advance professionally, agreeing to reimburse me for all of my college tuition expenses and promising me a position as a finical risk analyst after graduation.I also enrolled in Harvard University's online program and earned an A in English Composition I. I am now taking English Composition II, and am proud to say that I am on target to earn an A in that class, as well.

Given my success with the Harvard English classes, I feel confident that the online degree option at UCF is the best fit for my needs. I have taken steps to ensure that my workload is diminishedlight in order to be able to complete my online degree by the fall semester of 2017. I have a flexible work schedule that allows me to focus on two online courses per semester, and as a [Employer] employee, I have access to Harvard University resources in addition to UCF resources as a distance learning student . I plan to manage my time and workload in order to stay on top of assignments, establish a study routine, and reach out to professors and/or peers if I need help.

While my proposed path toward earning an undergraduate diploma is less than common, I am confident to state that it's the perfect fitway for me to achieve my goals . I have made enormous personal strides to build up resources and coping strategies that can help me through any challenges I may face as I successfully earn my degree.

I appreciate yourtime inThank you for reviewing my request to allow me to complete the journey I started at as a UCF Knight.

Sincerely,

[Name]

I think this is a winning essay! Hope this has helped you :)


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