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How a trillion cells function every day, every minute, every second to keep me alive? NUS essay


kmouli97 1 / 2  
Jan 17, 2015   #1
I'm a new member and I really need help to write this essay for NUS.
This section is an opportunity for you to elaborate on the information you have provided earlier. You may wish to discuss a special talent, a personal experience or an activity that you have been involved in that is of relevance to the course that you are applying for at the university.

As there is only limited space (2000 characters), you are encouraged to present your ideas in focused and thoughtful manner.


Even as a child, I had always been fascinated with the way things work. How a trillion cells function every day, every minute, every second to keep me alive and yet a bullet, smaller than my thumb can kill me and all those cells in a fraction of a second. How I could be saying something from India, and my family living a thousand miles away can hear me, see me. I've always wondered why frogs can only croak, dogs can only bark, and cats can only meow. The first incident that got me interested in science happened when i was seven and i got chicken pox. My mother told me that I got chicken pox from a microbe that was smaller than a rice grain. I wondered how such a small thing can cause my body to get ugly spots all over my body.When i was ten, my teacher did a volcano experiment and it oozed out lava, and I thought that was the most fascinating thing I'd seen. It was also very interesting for me how I had my father's hands and my mother's eyes, but my hair is completely different. At NUS, I hope I get the opportunity to fulfill my hunger for knowledge.

I'm not sure how to elaborate it.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Jan 17, 2015   #2
Okay, you need to go back to the drawing board for this essay. It is confusing and lacks direction. There is no real personal experience, talent, or involvement in an activity that is relevant to the course major you are hoping to attend at the university. I suggest that you concentrate on one topic and build your interest in science upon that. The story about your getting Chicken Pox feels like an excellent hook for your revised essay as it spells out the foundation for your interest in medical science. I assume that you are enrolling in biology, nursing, or pre-med due to the slant of your essay. So find a personal experience or activity that will build up the foundation of that interest. Concentrate on telling a story that is relevant to the foundation of your interest in your chosen major. That is what the prompt is asking you to write about and what you should provide. Right now, your essay is just throwing around possible ideas that you can opt to discuss in your essay. None of which can actually be usable unless you concentrate on properly developing it to adhere to the essay prompt.
ksyar2001 2 / 6 2  
Jan 17, 2015   #3
The college admissions are asking for one specific activity of yours. You must pick one that is most important to you and write about it. So if you want to write about your passion for medical science looks you must succinctly relate your experience of getting smallpox and how you developed your interest and passion.
OP kmouli97 1 / 2  
Jan 19, 2015   #4
Yes, I see your point. I'll start over and write about one incident.
Thank you.


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