Fresh out of high school and straight to freshman in college, I received my diploma and a dormitory and roommate assignment for a mandatory session of summer school. A provisional acceptance from the university I most wanted to attend at the time left me disappointed and discouraged. While I know the admissions board had my best academic interests at heart, I still could not help but feel bitter and mildly offended. I wished for nothing more than a way other than summer school to prove that my academic capabilities far surpassed what my high school GPA reflected.
I decided that calling up the university and pleading my case was too extreme and would most likely end in humiliation, instead I decided to face my impending doom and reluctantly attended summer school. The first couple weeks were tough because I still had not come to terms with what ultimately decides my future: me. Soon enough I grew tired of my bad decisions that inevitably led to failure, which always led to the justification of those failures to my friends, family, and most importantly me. It was the advice of one of my most respected and appreciated professor that changed my outlook on school and life. He said "Attitude is the key to being successful."
I initially had no intention of taking his words to heart but inevitably they struck chord in my conscience and soon changing my attitude to ultimately change myself was all I could think about. Soon I was not content with merely thinking about change; I had to act to act on my thoughts. I made up my mind to move out of my comfort zone and transform from lazy, unmotivated, and academically indifferent to driven, hardworking, and concerned about my future. If a "new me" was not enough, I also gained adequate proof, by way of GPA, of what I am truly capable of achieving. In the course of that dreaded summer session I succeeded in changing my attitude, myself, and the way others perceived me.
Along with this intentional change came new goals for the future. I discovered a passion for the mass media I never knew existed. I now have a goal to obtain a degree in media studies in effort to ultimately take part in enabling our global community through new media technologies. I recognize the hard work and dedications required in reaching this goal, and have no intention of backing down from the challenge. I believe I own the qualities necessary to succeed and with a positive attitude, and hard work I know I can.
What does most of your essay, which deals with your change of attitude before entering your current university, have to do with the topic of the prompt, which seems to be asking you why you want to transfer? Only the last paragraph seems to really be on topic. You might want to consider revising the essay to focus more on what the university you are transferring to offers that your current one doesn't.
Initially, I had no intention of taking his words to heart but inevitably they struck chord in my conscience and soon changing my attitude to ultimately change myself was all I could think about.
It was the advice of one of my most respected and appreciated professors that changed my outlook on school and life.
I initially had no intention of taking his words to heart but inevitably they struck a chord...
I recognize the hard work and dedications required in reaching this goal, and have no intention of backing down from the challenge.
Aside from what Sean said, here are a few fixes.
:)
