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'level of programming' - Personal essay for transfer admission to the University of Pittsburgh


ljd 1 / -  
Feb 10, 2009   #1
What format should a essay for college admission be in(double or single spaced ect...)?

The application says to write an essay explaining why I want to transfer to the University of Pittsburgh. It says that I can include my background history and area's of interest also.

Please let me know if this sounds okay.

As long as I can remember, I have always had a passion for technology and a desire to learn. My parents were not wealthy, so at the age of seventeen I joined the Army National Guard to get money for school. While serving for eight years I managed to obtain an Associate Degree in Electronics Technology and work full-time as an Engineering Technician. I currently test and perform component level troubleshooting on electronic circuit boards. After working in my profession for about five years I decided to head in another direction. Although, I like troubleshooting hardware, I feel that my true calling is in software.

I started attending the Community College of Allegheny County about three years ago with the goal of transferring to the University of Pittsburgh to obtain a Bachelor of Science in Information Science. I am now in my final semester and will soon obtain an Associate Degree in Computer and Information Technology. The main reason for choosing the University of Pittsburgh was the short commuting distance from my home. I also had to consider the availability of evening classes with my fulltime work schedule and most importantly the quality of educational teaching I will receive. After talking with University of Pittsburgh alumni that I currently work with, I feel that I am making a great decision.

With the acceptance to the University of Pittsburgh, I plan to achieve my goal and complete the Information Science program. I would also like to start the Master of Science in Information Science degree program and pursue a career as a Database Administrator. I think my hard work and studies at the Community College of Allegheny County have proved my ability to successfully complete the program.

Lastly, I would like to share with you a comment that I recently received from my Data Structures and Programming: C++ instructor, "This assignment proves your ability to continue on in this course. Many students are not at a level of programming that allows them to handle an assignment this complex from specification to implementation on their own in a reasonable amount of time."

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Feb 10, 2009   #2
If the instructions don't say anything about the formatting, then Times New Roman, 12pt font, doubled spaced is the academic standard. As for what you have written, it is decent grammatically and stylistically, but I'd add more about the reason why you want to attend the University of Pittsburgh, specifically, as opposed to, say, any one of the dozens of other universities in America that also offer the degree you are applying to.
rlaguswjd89 - / 2  
Feb 10, 2009   #3
I agree with the other post. This is good essay, but you need to explain more. I feel like you are connecting with readers about your point of view, but need more explanations.

CCAC needs to be provide with full name like College College Associate College (CCAC).
It is not possible for readers to know about that college.

If accepted to the University of Pittsburgh- this phrase does not sound professional to me.
With the acceptance to University of Pittsburgh might be better.
And, why don't you write a bit more why do you think that you are good candidate to get into the program?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Feb 10, 2009   #4
For as long as I can remember, I have always had a passion for technology and a desire to learn. I currently have an Associate Degree in Electronics Technology and work full time as an Engineering Technician.

Yes, I agree that it is good that you added some specific points about why the school is better than others. It will be better, too, if you add a few sentences so that you do not end with that comment from the teacher. The comment from the teacher is strong -- very good idea, because it shows not only that you impressed the teacher, but also that you are humble enough to cherish a compliment from your teacher -- but you should not end with it. End with reflection.


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