Your essay is perfectly okay. It's not great, excellent, or outstanding in any way. It is just perfectly, ideally, an okay essay. You state your reasons for wanting to visit Amherst using a decent style and proper grammar. However, you need an extremely strong essay that stands out from the crowd, and this isn't it.
Here are your verbs:
pore
explore
provide
capture
see
is
like
dowantmeet
experience
seeare
wantlearn
beingtalk
have
is
is
want
do
do
isThe ones in red are the ones that are very weak. Most of the ones that remain aren't that strong. So, you might start by strengthening your verbs. Pick ones that summon up vivid mental images. While you're at it, replace your general statements with specific ones. So, for instance, instead of
There are many parts of Amherst I want to learn more about.
explain which parts, specifically, interest you.
Good luck with your revisions. I look forward to reading your second draft.