Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
First rough draft, any feedback is appreciated
"Time to go visit your dad," my mom would say. For a few years, this would mean getting on a plane by myself to go visit his apartment in Las Vegas. Later on, these words would signify that my brother and I were going to a rehab center to see him. And eventually, I would never hear these words again.
Being raised by a single mother was no easy journey. I could see how my mom struggled without child support money and how she worked hard at her job to ensure that my brother and I could participate in various activities. I knew life was a challenge, but what I took away from my childhood experiences has influenced me in a positive way. I learned the importance of exemplary role models and how to overcome obstacles.
With the lack of a fatherly figure in the house, the males I did interact with had a tremendous influence on me. For many year, my grandfather, who only lived two blocks away, picked me up after school, helped me with my homework, and was the man I looked to for answers and advice. My older brother, too, became one of the most important males in my life. As a child, I copied everything he did. I developed my love of swimming because of him. His influence on me carried into high school. As student body president, captain of multiple sports teams, and a 4.0 student, my brother set an example for me. I did indeed become involved in leadership, was selected as varsity swim captain, and have been able to maintain good grades. A majority of my work ethic and passion is owed to my brother, as he was one of the few solid male inspirations that has been there for me my entire life. To this day there is no ones opinion that I value more than my older brother's.
Having positive male role models in place of my father was only one aspect in maintaining the "normal" life my mom strived to create. My mother worked to not let the negativity of the divorce get in the way of letting me enjoy a positive life. Despite not having someone to make Father's Day cards for or a dad to cheer me on at swim meets, I still consider my life so far a success. If anything, I am a stronger person today than I would have been if my parents were still together. Having to be independent and grow up fast because of my circumstances have influenced my life significantly.
This is an amazing essay. Your conclusion was really strong. However, I do not think you answered the second part of the prompt "How this has shaped your dreams and aspirations". I think that if you do that it will be even better :D
