You should place the reference to the gym as the place that you feel most content somewhere at the start of your essay. If possible, make it a part of the hook in your introduction in order to immediately draw in the admissions officer and give him an idea of what kind of discussion will be flowing through your essay. After you do that, present a summarized idea of how you felt before you went to the gym rather than offering more than half the page to the questions and dissatisfaction you had prior to discovering the benefits of going to the gym. After that summary, you should fully discuss and develop the sense of contentment that you feel at the gym and why it is of the utmost importance to you. At the moment, that importance is a mere footnote in your essay app rather than one of the main parts of the essay. Remember that the contentment portion is one of the most important aspects of the experience you had at the gym, which is why you are being asked to describe and discuss that part of the place or environment in as vivid detail as possible. My suggestion is to merge the following 2 paragraphs in order to deliver a better content for your essay:
That`s the main reason why I feel perfectly content on the gym , because it has opened my eyes towards life and has sculpted a better person out of me.
combined with:
After a long run of physical and mental challenges, not only I found the answers of these questions, but also learnt some crucial lessons about life. My ambitious nature and commitment to create a better me, helped me understand that it`s not the society opinion that matters. What really matters is your opinion, what fills you with joy and what makes you completey comfortable with being yourself. Life is like a competition, but the only difference is that you are the only contestant taking part in.You challenge yourself everyday, overcoming obstacles to create a better person than the one you face in the mirror everyday. This journey boosted my confidence and made me love myself, not in the narcistic way, but in a way of respecting who I am and doing everything possible to outdo the old versions of me. This persuasion impacted my life, boosting my confidence, making me become more social and open to try new things. In other words it made me to overlook life in another point of view.
makes more sense when read together as a paragraph rather than apart. Then this paragraph:
The beginning of this journey was really tough, I needed to figure out what I was doing and why I was doing it. Was it worth it to pick up the tiny dumbbells and struggle with them everyday, an action that would change the point of view of others towards me? Was my physical appearance that important to my friends and society? At that time I was full of doubts and low-confidence, I was being suffocated under the pressure of my insecurities
could become a part of your concluding paragraph. It feels like it has more impact as part of the end of your essay rather than having it in the middle portion.