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"my thirst for originality, diversity and freedom" - what makes Stanford a good place


hahoonh 4 / 12  
Dec 14, 2010   #1
Is the essay too generic? The context has gone a little awkward, since I tried to fit in the 1800 character limit. Please have a read and leave a comment, I would really, really, really appreciate your opinions!!!!!!!!!!!!! (if you can point out the grammatical errors, that would be SUPERB :D)

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"So the caprolactam rings open, followed by multiple condensation polymerizations to produce nylon 6,6. The chain produced here has directing peptide bonds..."

What a big load of gibbers! Sometimes, I seem to be perfectly familiar with each word, but would just not be able to comprehend what they conglomerate into. Poking a friend to ask what they mean, I am stunned by his harsh words of don't-bother-learning-what's-not-in-our-syllabus. Turning to a teacher for a finer answer, I am upset to discover that he too responds similarly. This is what I daily encounter in my high school, with minimum interaction between teachers and students, class notes recycled over years, and hackneyed curriculum with little diversity. I have always been willing to pioneer my own education and enhance my uniqueness, but the circumstances did not let me to do so.

In this sense, Stanford University is a perfect institution to satiate my thirst for originality, diversity and freedom, so as to recall individuality in me. A tight-knit faculty would pop off my real-time curiosities through personal, detailed inculcations, while the group discussions with the brains from all parts of the globe will expand my cultural, ethnic understandings as part of my becoming-a-global-citizen scheme. As the school's motto, "the wind of freedom blows", suggests, a high degree of freedom is guaranteed in designing my own sets of classes. Since the declaration of specific major does not begin until the junior year, I would be able to have a good taste of each field of studies offered before choosing the most suitable major. Academic reasons aside, my passion for drums will finally blossom as a percussionist of LSJUMB, rocking out "All Right Now" in inter-school clashes. All these are possible, exclusively at Stanford.
coeurreign 2 / 45  
Dec 14, 2010   #2
I have always been willing to pioneer my own education and enhance my uniqueness, but the circumstances did not let me to do so.- you started from present tenses to future to past tense here.

Since the declaration of specific major does not begin until the junior year, I would be able to have a good taste of each field of studies offered before choosing the most suitable major.- I think you should get rid of this because most schools offer students to apply undeclared then choose a major.

lolz, gibbers. I think you should change that to something a bit more professional. This is good. I think you should elaborate on the whole drumming thing. It would help you stand out better, I would think. Good luck!
angeleyes 1 / 4  
Dec 14, 2010   #3
"what I encounter daily" would sound better

"pop" sounds a little informal

and I agree with the above, talk more about your drumming if you have space! If not, it's a great way to leave admissions officers thirsting to hear more.

Good luck!
OP hahoonh 4 / 12  
Dec 14, 2010   #4
thank you guys for the constructive comments! I really appreciate them. If I erase the major choosing bit, I would have more space to elaborate on the drumming bit. Thanks again!


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