Hey guys I need some suggestions really soon, but for these types of essays are we supposed to just list them or what?! heres one i did for Boston University that has a similar prompt-It is three weeks before the start of your freshman year at BU, and you are talking to your new roommate for the first time. Since you are trying to get to know each other, what are a few things you would want to share about who you are?
I would begin by telling this new roommate my background because one of the first things many people ask me is my ethnicity (due to my light skin and curly hair). I identify myself as African American, but I am also Creole, Irish, and Native American. Additionally, I am fairly religious and have been attending Cottonwood Church, a non-denominational Christian church, for roughly 10 years. I would also tell him that I am a very picky eater, but I eat a lot of the things I do enjoy like Gumbo, steak, baked potatoes, and Chicken Strips. After I finished telling him about those boring details, I would mention my love of ice cream and smoothies, which explains my addictions to both Jamba Juice and Starbucks. My pickiness probably explains why I only weigh a meager 113 lbs. I have always been troubled by my size, but I have come to the realization that it is likely to never change. Therefore, when others make jokes about my stature, I embrace it and usually outwit them. It is also comforting to know that when we all get older, my diet will not have to be dictated by Nutrisystem or Weight Watchers.
After briefing him on my background, I would then inform him on my interest and goals. I would mention that my favorite sport is basketball, which I play about every other weekend. I would go on to say that my favorite NBA team is the Los Angeles Lakers (even though they are not playing too well right now). In fact, my golden retriever's name is Kobe, after Kobe Bryant. Afterwards, I would mention how I would like to become the Lakers' Sports Medicine Physician like Gary Vitti, which is why I'm majoring in athletic training at Boston University. Next, I would inform him of my extensive trumpet playing and overall interest in music. I have been playing trumpet for 9 years, playing jazz for 6 years, and I also dabble in the piano and guitar. Additionally, I would explain my need for cleanliness and hope that he would agree. I despise living with messy people because they always inhibit my goal of keeping tidiness. For example, I have always shared a room and my brother constantly created more mess than I would have liked, leaving out shoes and dirty clothes and putting them in front of my dresser. Finally, I would inform him of some of my all-time favorite things to do and watch. My favorite actor is Will Ferrell; my favorite comedian is Kevin Hart; my favorite movies are "I Love You Man" and "Step Brothers"; my favorite books are To Kill a Mockingbird, 21, and Catcher in the Rye; and my favorite websites are facebook.com, wimp.com, youtube.com, and ted.com. Hopefully after this conversation took place, we would discover mutual interests and hobbies.
I agree with pjw7109, your kind of listing a bunch of stuff instead of explaining them, i have the same problem with my essay. I guess try to avoid 1 sentence descriptions and stick with fewer points but make those descriptions lengthier and more memorable.
you think you will change it to fit uchicago prompts ? Hmm i find it personal , fairly interesting.
The part about your stature was good, the last part looks like a list. Actually it is OK to be a list, but I think you should focus on a few points instead.
