...I see a gentleman with a
generous smile on his face. If I asked anyone to think of a
future president, would anyone
a female president
in their mind
? I have no doubts that anyone will (you can also say: I can asure you that no one will)
.... Even though we claim that everyone deserves
....the modern segregation creates
certain limits upon those
who have the potential to go beyond the traditions.
....great potential to become the
world's first female president. Even though many Koreans were supportive
towards (I think that "towards" should be replaced with "of")
her, there were lots of opponents towards her e
specially those who hated
her as a the fact that she was a
....who will provide them with
a better country
with that has
more opportunities and freedom...
.....her dream to become
world's first female president.....
the modern segregation significant to me?...
.....has created motivates
me to work
much harder hard
me to become that person who can overcome other's perceptions. Thus, with my enthusiasm
towards academic performance, I want to be the
one who can be a role model for the
future ( you can say "next" or "following")
Well, my personal opinion is that your essay is really fantastic. But I did find some gramatical errors and as you can see I tried to correct them. Hope I could help, and again this was a very interesting and well written essay.
Good job :)
P.S. I hope you can take a look at my essays and give me your opinion and correct any mistakes you see :)