I feel limited right now and i have zero inspiration and creativity. thus this stringy, choppy, and horrible essay. :[ i need some constructive critism, and fast. please let me know what you think.
Topic: Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.
It is always the simplest things in life which leave a huge imprint upon our lives. This can be a sincere smile, an innocent nod or perhaps even a guileless conversation. Whatever the reason, it usually makes us a better person. When I was 16 I met a person who made a huge impact upon my life. It would be understandable if I said that this person was a noble peace prize winner, or a well known humanitarian, but that would be a lie. However I am not a liar, just a girl who has realized that even the smallest person can make a difference in your life. The truth is that the person who impacted me was a little 14 year old girl.
This girl was someone I met at the park. Over the summer going to the park became somewhat of a ritual for me, and at 6 o'clock sharp I would be at the community park with either a book or my ipod. Those were the days when I was free from worry, and the anguish which usually occupies my brain. One day I was just sitting reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower when a pre-teen girl sat down next to me. I thought to myself, "I hope she doesn't start bothering me", however little did I know that this girl, who I had just rudely judged was going to influence me to a great degree.
"You know that book is a really good book", were the first words out of her mouth. I nodded and pretended to read on. "There is a line in there that goes like 'I feel infinite' it a great line. And it really makes you think, like how could that be? No one can ever be infinite. But if you really really look at it, its true." She looked at me a smiled. I remember I had closed my book by then. I stared at her and thought, what would a pre-teen know about life? "My name is Taylor by the way" she explained sticking her hand out. I smiled and shook it knowing that this was the start of something infinite.
That summer, or to be more exact, whatever was left of the summer, we bonded over books and literature. She was only 14 but had a mature knowledge of a 20 year old. It was fascinating to know that someone so young could be so determined and ready to push towards success. It inspired me to become a better student, a better person and made me even more determined to achieve my own goals. I didn't really see Taylor after that summer but when I left Toronto I knew that my motivation and determination came from her. She taught me that it was never too late to achieve what I wanted and no matter what always reach out for success. If you don't succeed entirely at least you will learn something from it. Perhaps if that 'annoying pre-teen' girl hadn't sat down next to me, I wouldn't be who I am today.
It is always the simplest of things*
Goodness, I'm not even going to bother, this is a mess.
Note to Administrators: please consider adding a section with respectable essays for the perusing; the current selection is sad (sorry to be callous).
Decent essay, but you really didn't write about what they want. I mean what is the impact? you used to love books, and you just found someone who shared that with you.
This is not a believable impact IMO, you should write about someone who completely reshaped your life.
P.S: Can you comment on my essay for Texas A&M?
Thank you in advance.
