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Essay about the subjects in which you excel or have excelled.


answers: 2
Jan 8, 2008, 06:47pm   #1
Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. To what factors do you attribute your success?
Do you have any suggestions on bettering my essay?

My enthusiasm and the strongly committed teachers I've encountered in my life have attributed to my success in Math.

In fourth grade, my math teacher, Mr. Pizzini, would encourage his class by recognizing our achievements with small rewards such as stickers or even posters of our favorite singers. I remember winning the math ladder competition the first time and receiving a trophy for beating everyone in my class. His encouragements and recognitions sparked my interest in math. Later on, I learned to enjoy math because I felt accomplished when I solved a problem or I helped a friend with a problem they couldn't figure out. I also found that the benefits of Math were everywhere. When I joined band, sight reading music seemed fairly easy to me because counting the beats and rests was all Math.

When I got to high school, I was fortunate enough to meet the best math teacher ever, Mr. Sheridan. Not only was he a wonderful teacher, but he shared and passed on his love for Math to all his students. He never failed to give an encouraging word or draw a "good job!" whenever we aced our calculus tests. Last year he even had a party after school where he have us snacks and showed us a fascinating video about the Pythagorean Theorem. Though this doesn't sound like much of a party, the enthusiastic faces and discussion we had over the movie made it seem as if we had seen an action packed movie that had won an Oscar! Mr. Sheridan even helped us form a math club. In this club we went out to the junior high school and tutored students and played fun games with them.

I don't think my A honor roll streak in math could have been possible if I didn't enjoy math. I owe this to my math teachers who passed on their love for math and who encouraged me.

Greetings!

I think you've written a good essay; I have just a few editing suggestions for you:

He never failed to give an encouraging word or draw a "good job!" whenever we aced our calculus tests. - Usually, it is the recipient of the encouragement who "draws" it, not the one giving it. A different word besides "draw" might be better.

Last year he even had a party after school where he gave us snacks and showed us a fascinating video about the Pythagorean Theorem.

You might want to make your conclusion just a bit stronger. Rather than saying you "enjoy math" could you truthfully say you have a passion for it? And perhaps, in the last sentence, something like "who encouraged me with their dedication and inspiration" ?

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com



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