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At stressful moments, I sit anxiously at my desk, turn my candle on, and peer at this flame


diana147 1 / -  
Oct 19, 2014   #1
Georgetown: Please write an essay- personal or creative- that you believe best describes yourself.

The flickering shadows. The ominous glow against the soft pink walls. The cherry mango flame blows indiscriminately in every direction.

At stressful moments, I sit anxiously at my desk, turn my candle on, and peer at this flame. The many thoughts of my day dissipate as this profound yet oddly insignificant flame on the candle perched upon my desk burns and captivates me with the tangy saccharine scent. It calls to me. The flickering flame has the power to destroy but also to create if the opportunity presents itself yet here it is perched upon my opal archaic desk. So much power, I think to myself, yet it stays here perched upon my desk, unknowing of its potential.

I was once this flame. My childhood was marked by an intense shyness. I was the girl who everyone had seen yet they just couldn't remember her name. I had never thought my shyness was a negative quality for it shrouded me with mystery. People were scary and it was best to just avoid them. I loathed and panicked at parties, ballet lessons, and reading sessions because I would only spend the time comparing myself to the rest. During elementary school, I was approached by one of my classmates, a girl whose flowing black hair resembled leaves of a willow tree, and asked me if I ever spoke and if I ever really thought for that matter. Did my reticence really lead her to believe I couldn't think? After school that day, I sat beside my timeworn sofa, gazed at the cinnamon candle my mom lit as I tried to fight back tears, and thought to myself, " I will never escape from this."

My biggest failure thus far was thinking that this habit, this characteristic that I thought would carry with me till the end of my days, was above me. This mindset characterized me through my childhood and into high school.. "Incredible academic potential, yet extremely quiet" would be the major topic at parent teacher conferences. Nevertheless, I continued my ways, seeing there was no point in reveling in my obvious failures.

I do not know what caused this to change. Whatever it was, it started on the eve of my sophomore year and started with an explosion. I decided to join the school Cross Country team. Overweight, heavy panting, deep thoughts about resignation: words that portray those initial arduous days. However, I knew I couldn't quit because it would become one more motive to pity myself. I had to show myself that there wasn't any hill I couldn't climb. I persevered.

Yes, I had shed twenty pounds but I feel like I shed something greater than aesthetics: doubt in myself. After cross-country, I felt compelled to join virtually every club in the school. The more friends I made and the more obstacles I conquered, the more effort I put into transferring that success elsewhere. After winning Student Senate elections and volunteering in Campus Ministry, shyness seemed like a thing of the past. I decided that I would confront my biggest fear once and for all: Public Speaking.

I decided to enroll in a Public speaking class that required the last speech to be orated in front of a full auditorium. I remember my trembling pale hands, the paper's edges twirling away from me, and the eighty college students watching. The public speaking class I took had run its course and I, the once shy girl, received a standing ovation for my John F. Kennedy speech.

Some say that shyness is drilled within a person and, for some, this is rightfully so. However, where some believe that shyness is the antithesis of confidence, I believe that they are interconnected. Those who are confident must experience shyness at one point in order to substantiate themselves. But what distinguishes them, and what distinguishes me, is that they don't seize opportunities, but create them. As where I see high school as a preparation period, I see college as the chance to wholeheartedly pour heart and soul into my passions. There is no saying what I can do. I surprise myself everyday.

But what I do know, as I stare at my little mango cherry flame, is that I will never again be passive. I will be the firestorm.
Lucy2457 4 / 9 1  
Oct 19, 2014   #2
This is very interesting! For your last word, maybe say "fire" instead of "firestorm". It is more simple and powerful. Also, maybe use different words than "cherry mango" to describe the flame- Pink tinged? Ruby red?

I might rewrite this quote: "Overweight, heavy panting, deep thoughts about resignation: words that portray those initial arduous days." Instead, something like "In those initial arduous days, poisonous words followed me. Overweight. Exhausted. Resignation."

Great job and good luck!


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