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'stop thinking unrealistically' If it's still on your mind, then it's worth taking the risk; Barnard


shnoobidoox3 1 / 1  
Dec 21, 2014   #1
Hi guys! I'd really appreciate some advice for this essay :)

C. Alumna and writer Anna Quindlen says that she "majored in unafraid" at Barnard. Tell us about a time when you majored in unafraid. (250 word limit)

Whenever I proposed an idea, the first thing that everyone responded: 'you should stop thinking unrealistically.' It bothered me yet it made me wonder whether they were right, whether I was setting myself for failure. However, this was my drive for motivation to achieve my aims and objectives - this is what made me who I am today, a passionate woman striving for her goals.

Nevertheless, the last year of high school reached a climax. This was not because of the stress load of examination prep, but because of my supposedly hyperbolical goals. I was faced with constant pressure from my friends and family, all of whom seem to oppose my saying: 'I will do this!'. If I asked for an opinion, my friend abruptly responded: 'give up.' If I spoke with my father, he teased: 'That's beyond your comprehension.' Beyond my comprehension? Did I need step down to prove my peers that they were right? I refused. Regardless of how psychologically enervating things were, I did not give up. I did not step back but instead, pushed myself even further to prove myself that I am capable. Although my decision brought along a series of debates and isolation from my surroundings, I achieved my goal both academically and personally. This is what I majored in unafraid - believing in yourself while standing alone along the journey.

From that day, I believed in one thing: If it's still on your mind, then it's worth taking the risk.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Dec 21, 2014   #2
Sania, while your essay deals with the abstract idea of "unafraid' the essay needs to be a bit more specific and descriptive. What was this hyperbolic goal that you had set for yourself that had everyone asking you to give up? When you talk about being "unafraid" you need to let us into the discussion that you had with these people. What is it about you that made them think you would not be able to accomplish this goal? Why do you feel that you can accomplish it? Describe to use why you feel "unafraid" in undertaking this task and why you know you will succeed. Being abstract in your discussion is helpful to a certain degree. You just need to balance it with the reality of your situation and allow us into that world as well.
OP shnoobidoox3 1 / 1  
Dec 21, 2014   #3
Okay! Thanks for the feedback:)


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