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"Stop ladies pray!" - The importance of music throughout my life Yale Admissions essay


Megan642 2 / 4 1  
Oct 31, 2014   #1
Prompt: In this essay, please reflect on something you would like us to know about you that we might not learn from the rest of your application, or on something about which you would like to say more. You may write about anything-from personal experiences or interests to intellectual pursuits.

Some of my earliest memories are of my family gathering in my grandfather's living room with guitars, mandolins, banjos, and fiddles. By the end of the night the entire house would be filled with songs and laughter as the kids made up lyrics to whatever the 'band' decided to play and the aunts and uncles laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. Music has always been an important part of my life from my early childhood memories of family gatherings to learning to play the violin.

It was at a Christmas gathering when I was twelve that I first picked up a violin. My cousin Sydney was showing the entire family her repertoire of Christmas songs when my Uncle Alex decided that all the cousins should try to play her violin. After holding her violin and having Sydney show me how to play a few notes I taught myself how to play "Jingle Bell Rock" by the end of the night. It did not take much begging before I had weekly lessons of my own, and before I knew it I was learning more than two note songs; I was learning scales, small classical pieces and Irish jigs.

The music that I have listened to at various times throughout my childhood has had a profound impact on the person that I've grown up to be. I grew up listening to the music my parents love. I would sing Britney Spears and Gwen Stefani with my friends on the school bus and then come home and listen to Elton John and Led Zeppelin. I even earned some confused looks while kidding around with friends about the dress code and showing ankles, I burst into Gilbert & Sullivan with "Stop, ladies pray!" from The Pirates of Penzance. This aspect of my life set me apart from my friends in elementary school, but by the time everyone had I-pods I had become the kid whose playlist everyone wanted to borrow.
jjj90 4 / 14 4  
Oct 31, 2014   #2
Some of my earliest memories are of my family gathering in my grandfather's living room with guitars, mandolins, banjos, and fiddles. By the end of the night the entire house would be filled with songs and laughter as the kids made up lyrics to whatever the 'band' decided to play and the aunts and uncles laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. Music has always been an important part of my life from my early childhood memories of family gatherings to learning to play the violin.

Think of finding a transition between the second and third sentence of this paragraph; because you abruptly go from talking about memories of family gatherings to music. There is no build-up to the main message of this essay which I believe is the third sentence.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Oct 31, 2014   #3
This is a very interesting piece of work Megan. Your depiction of learning how to play the violin over the holidays is something that made the story engaging. There are not many females interest in playing the violin these days so that talent alone makes you a stand out and separates your application statement from the rest. unless another girl happens to be a violin protege that is :-) That said, I think that we need to add a more personal connection between you and the music that you play. Right now, we see only the good side of music in your life. The fun side that you connect it with. However, the essay could have a little more impact if you had a memorable tale to relate it to. Perhaps something heavy happened in your life in the past and music helped you get over that episode somehow? I believe that you need to present that side because the title of your essay includes the words "importance of music throughout my life". Hence the need to show how music has always been there for you through the good and bad times. Do you think such a think could work for you?


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