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UC PERSONAL STATEMENT (What shaped my dreams and aspirations)


answers: 1
Nov 12, 2012, 05:42pm   #1
This if for my UC Personal Statement. Please feel free to be harsh with my writing, it's not perfect at all.

I remember that cold winter night in January 2010; I was making my way home after a heart breaking playoff loss. To my surprise, I was welcomed home with an eviction letter attached to my front door. I couldnít collect my belongings; from my childhood collection of Magic Tree House book series to my only picture with my family, they were all gone. During that same week, I was unable to pay the tuition of my high school and was subsequently not allowed to return. I had reached my breaking point. Tears streamed down my eyes as I kept re-assuring myself that this was all a dream and I would wake up soon. I mean, only the characters in dramas have it this bad, right?

I was now living as a vagabond, moving over twenty times in the course of six months. Whether I was living in the homes of my friends or run-down motels, I carried a sense of shame wherever I went. I felt I was just a financial burden to my alcoholic mother, exacerbating what was already a tough life. From this point on, I bade farewell to my childhood and any hope for an idyllic life. I knew that I had been thrust prematurely into adulthood. It was the only way. My love for my mother has influenced me to become an addiction psychiatrist. I want to aid many patients who are similar to my mother. Taking care of my mom as a child, Iíve developed a great amount of compassion for others. I want to exercise this love in my community and throughout the world.

Looking back on my life, every painful event has defined the person I am today. Itís because of moving countless times that I have learned how it feels for someone on the street to not have a home. Itís because of my responsibilities that I was able to mature as a student and a son. Itís because of my mom's illness that I want to continue to study and help others. Itís because of my disadvantages that I had an opportunity to rise as a stronger person. My care ethic, compassion and love were all an outcome of these events.

As I stayed optimistic, my life improved. I recently found a part-time job, which pays under minimum wage, but it is enough to get me by every month. I am now able to pay the rent, the phone bill, and the food bill without depending on my mom. Mom is now recovering from her alcoholism with the savings bond money I received from my grandpa. Dad is finally searching for any job he can find in hopes that he can support my mom and me one day.

I wonít allow my hardships to blind me from what life has to offer; it is my hardships that opened my eyes to lifeís happiness. I determine the course of my life, not my circumstances. Life is about chasing personal goals that will benefit others; every day I run closer to the finish line.
I like that you started veering away from your mother as a main point and more towards how you saw being a vagabond as an impetus to succeed. I only say this because many admissions officers will see stories about family members, but not many people can overcome an ordeal such as yours to attend college. I would say make the struggle of constantly readjusting to the new way of life the main topic and how you are stronger because of it.



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